“I never thought they would take away my  glasses!” President Donald Trump shocked the nation in 2020 when he joined the controversial...

To the woe of many a dorm resident eagerly opening their windows in the evening, hoping to pass a quiet night in the cool, fresh air of...

In what sources on the Board of Regents are calling a “patriotic” and “long overdue” move, University of Iowa President Barbara Wilson...

Climate Reports Indicate This Annual Tradition Could Soon Become a Rare Occurrence Ah, winter. The time of pretty snow, disgusting slush,...

Are you miserably sobbing your way through your first day of classes, hoping and yearning for even a single spark of good on this most...

RIP Mr. Business major :(((

BREAKING: This idiot tree apparently still thinks it’s summer. Look at all that green! Don’t you have some leaves to lose? Spoiler alert:...

Since the election of Donald Trump as the 47th President of the United States, Iowa has been cracking down on four-eyes across the state...

Dear Doily, I think we can all agree that this semester has gone by uncannily fast. It feels like just last week we were throwing out our...

There’s Just Nothing Going On Today Hey, everyone. We’d love to share some interesting news with you today, but unfortunately there isn’t...

Police Suspect Miss Scarlett in the Conservatory with the Dagger This morning, the deceased body of Herky the Hawk was discovered in the...

This morning at 10:27 CDT, Iowa City motorist Thomass Clack collided with a bicycle while making a left turn at the intersection of...

But, like, why? Tensions between four-eyes and normal people have risen to a new high in Iowa City as a local four-eyes has chained...

These darn tootin’ tests have done got me confounded… we ain’t even halfway through the darn semester, dagnabbit!

WASHINGTON, D.C.— According to shocking whistleblower reports, woke liberals have infiltrated our highest stations of government. As new...

The greatest interethnic conflict in American history continues to rise to new heights, as more and more four-eyes seek new ways to cope...

Last week, the first presidential debate between Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Donald Trump rocked the nation....

Hey, everyone. My name’s Carl, aka Rizz-Man to my friends, which I have, and I’m a new writer here at The Dilly Elephant . Sorry, what is...

Expect gentrification this Labor Day NEW YORK – The United Nations headquarters has been sent into a panic, for an American holiday has...

… … … Uh… hi. I know last time we spoke  I was all, “We’re going back to our natural habitats, never to be seen in Iowa City again,” but,...