The Case for Capitalism? I Thought You Said the Case for Fatboy Slim!
Aw jeez, man, this is so embarrassing! See, when my boss was yelling at me over the phone about the subject of my next journalistic...
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Campus Life
5 Ways to Retaliate Against Your RA When They Catch You Drinking
It’s a scene many college students are familiar with: you stumble back home to your dorm after a fun night out with friends, only to find...
Sunset Club Forgets Daylight Savings Ended
Darkness falls on the sunset club as they begin their meeting promptly at 6pm to realize the sun had already set. Morale was so low at...
Macbeth Review: GONE WRONG?? (NOT CLICKBAIT)
Last Saturday, the Iowa Theater Department closed their production of Macbeth after seven performances. It was surprising that they made...
“Werner Herzog Resigns as Film Director After Watching My BTS Fan-Cam”
Werner Herzog, the highly-acclaimed director of the best documentaries of the modern age and a mediocre Nosferatu remake, is coming to...
University of Iowa Dorms as Zodiac Signs
Libra is the season of judgment, and we’re in full-on Libra right now, so let’s start passive-aggressively assigning personality traits...
“Bizaardvark” Star Gets Litty at Gabe’s
At the beginning of the month, Philadelphia-based band Soul Glo tore up the stage at our favorite hepatitis-laced dive bar, screaming and...
Student Gets Hit by Iowa City Transit Bus, Only Gets 35% of Tuition Paid
I’m sure the vast majority of University of Iowa students have heard the old myth about how if you’re hit and/or run over by the Cambus,...
UI Students Start Multicultural Org for White People, Finally!
At last, something for the Whites! In a historic decision, a group of University of Iowa students requested the approval of a...
Why Do Freshmen Sit Like That? An Investigation
Captain’s Log: September 8th, 2023. I’ve finally been released from prison––I snitched––but the world I’ve returned to isn’t the one I...
Report: Why Was Herky So Caked Up at the Engagement Fair?
Iowa City, IA—This is a special investigative report conducted by the Doily Allergen’s on-site reporters over the last nearly two weeks...
Best Ways to Get Student Org Emails to Go Away!
I just want to clarify both for the writer’s sake and the peace of mind of Student Org outreach people, the following article is a...
Paranormal Investigator Surprised to Learn English-Philosophy Building Isn’t Haunted
Everything always seems more haunted in autumn, doesn’t it? With Halloween on the horizon, a chill in the breeze, and an early nighttime...
What the Fuck is Labor Day?!??!
Does anyone know?!
I Joined All 40,000 Student Orgs That Emailed Me
What’s up guys, I’m back with another epic #collegelife blog!!!! In today’s article, we’ll be taking a look at what happens when you join...
DO NOT GO TO THE STUDENT ENGAGEMENT FAIR!!!!!!!
This message includes information about a crime that was recently reported on or near the University of Iowa campus. The purpose of this...
Freshman Loses Girlfriend to the Poster Guy
Many freshmen, upon entering their first semester of classes, often find themselves with a variety of issues that they hadn’t taken into...
UI Health Offers Free Castration Amid Severe Heat Wave
Gone are the days of your balls sticking to your thighs.
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