Professors to Play Subway Surfers During Lecture to Finally Gain Students’ Attention
As students’ attention spans dwindle and the semester’s work begins to amp up, students are rapidly losing interest in lectures and are...
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Even Less Important
UIowa Financial Aid Under Arrest for Robbing Students
This year's FAFSA is now limited to the financial aid that the University needs from the students, on top of tuition. No financial aid...
Roman Bricks Found Under Mayflower, Demolition Permanently Halted
The University of Iowa recently announced its intention to sell Mayflower Residence Hall by Spring 2024, thereby doing the campus—and the...
To Celebrate Labor Day WGA and SAG-Aftra Go Back to Work
In a surprising turn of events, the WGA, the writer’s guild of America and SAG-Aftra, the screen actors guild and incredibly long acronym...
UI Health Offers Free Castration Amid Severe Heat Wave
Gone are the days of your balls sticking to your thighs.
Brweaking: They’we Wittewally in my Walls
Rawr. The shadow people. They’we witterawy in my walls. I can heawr them. They wispewr sweet nothings into my eawrs. They want to help...
Everywhere My Grandma Visited on Her Trip to Iowa City
My grandma recently took a weekend trip to Iowa City to visit me, but not without documenting her sightseeing. Here are some of her...
Top 10 Better Names for the City of Iowa City
Barbarizz Wilsonville Presiville Barburg Wilston Wilbarpreztown The Wilson of the Barbara Wilson Barb’s Place The City Which Prides...
Cakes at Catlett Dining Hall Reportedly Only Wet Because They’re Preparing You For My Pussy
[Mom & Dad, I know you both insist on reading all of my articles, but please don’t read this one. Feel free to peruse the rest of the...
UI Students Pregame at Unimpaired
[Disclaimer: This particular journalist had one too many Shirley Temples before writing this piece. If this article is bad, even by usual...
Will Ferrell Excited to Join Doily Allergen Staff
Ever since the recent visits of Pedro Pascal, Ashton Kutcher, and Miles Teller in Iowa City, barhopping freshmen were in shambles from...
Iowa City Woman in Polyamorous Relationship with Herky Statues
Your beloved Doily Allergen Reporter recently met with Iowa City local, Hillary Clemmons, who is taking being a Hawkeye to a new level....
Opinion: The Bunnel is the Best Place to get Head
Are you looking for some good old fashioned sloppy toppy, but your dirty dingy dorm room isn’t doing it for you? Do you want to be public...
Ped Mall Rabbit Left Iowa City to Attend Playboy Bunny Casting Call
Many residents of Iowa City were dismayed when Bertha, one of several inflatable rabbits currently stationed in the downtown Ped Mall,...
DA EIC Hates the British
Breaking News! The Editor-in-Chief of the Doily Allergen is confirmed to hate the British for no damn good reason. A series of leaked...
UI Appeals to Midwestern Ideals by Offering E-corn-omics Major
In many aspects, the University of Iowa can be considered a very prestigious university. Its creative writing program has been ranked #2...
Riding the High of Purchasing Old Capitol Mall, University of Iowa Announces Plans to Colonize India
Announcing an emergency press conference, UI campus manager Rob Florsham and the coordinator of the International Studies program Dana...
University Invites Ghost of “Stonewall” Jackson To Speak At IMU
The University of Iowa, in conjunction with Young America’s Foundation, announced on Monday that due to the response received from former...
UI Mental Health Department Announces Six Students Don’t Really Belong Here
The University has increased efforts in mental health care this semester, including the “You Belong Here” Campaign. Students may have...
Cock Drawing Shows Artistic Promise
Sudden fame has swept up Nathan Hunting, who until recently worked as a janitor in the Burge dining hall. That all changed when one of...
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