its my moms birfday, everyone say happy bday
Also shoutout to Madi. Her birthday is in five months!
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Important!
Opinion: Danny’s Birthday is in Five Months
April 28. Mark your calendars.
The Case for Capitalism? I Thought You Said the Case for Fatboy Slim!
Aw jeez, man, this is so embarrassing! See, when my boss was yelling at me over the phone about the subject of my next journalistic...
Do You Have Teeth? Call Your Doctor Immediately
Have you ever heard of teeth? Most haven’t. They’re a strange and rare symptom, a growth sometimes found along the gums, which can...
How to Enjoy Coco Without Committing Cultural Appropriation
(Written by an actual Mexican-American from Texas.) As Halloween comes to a close, many Mexicans of both the Mexican and American...
Headless Horseman Finds He Does Not Have a Lot to Give
The famous mythical horseman recently discovered he does not have a lot to give. I mean, for Christ’s sake, he doesn’t even have a head....
Hawkeye Marching Band Pays Tribute to The Living Tombstone
Mister Rogers, Bob Ross, Bella Thorne, and The Living Tombstone. What do all of these historical figures have in common? The answer is...
UI Lecture Committee Invites Scott Cawthon and MatPat
The University of Iowa Lecture Committee, known for hosting such celebrities as Brittany Broski and Josh Peck, has invited Scott Cawthon...
What to Expect from the FNAF Movie (From a Non–FNAF Fan)
“Oh, boy, a 5 Nights At Fredies’ movie! I cannot wait, for this is the greatest occurrence I have ever lived to witness, and I shall...
BREAKING: Herky Dates Chica in Surprising PR Stunt
The birds announced their relationship after a sex scandal between the two was exposed behind the scenes of the Five Nights at Freddy’s...
CAB Debuts Five Nights at Herky’s Event, Eight Killed: “Skill Issue,” Engineer Says
The Campus Activities Board, or CAB, is a student organization well known throughout the University for being given thousands of dollars...
Doily Allergen Changes Name to 𝕏
Following recent administrative changes, we here at The Doily Allergen are excited to announce our intent to change the name of Iowa...
“Bizaardvark” Star Gets Litty at Gabe’s
At the beginning of the month, Philadelphia-based band Soul Glo tore up the stage at our favorite hepatitis-laced dive bar, screaming and...
Attention Horny Hawks: Have You Registered Your Vibe Yet?
Make Sure ALL Your Devices Are Properly Connected We know it’s been nearly two months since move-in day at the dorms. All your boxes are...
UI Students Start Multicultural Org for White People, Finally!
At last, something for the Whites! In a historic decision, a group of University of Iowa students requested the approval of a...
Barbara Wilson Changes Name of Burge to “Barbge”
Barb calls for Avengers level monuments built to the sky with her name plastered on them... and Burge is first to go.
Male English Professor is so Gender
Many English Major students have reported that a professor of theirs, Professor Pier E. Odcramps, is “so gender” due to topics of...
Special Report: The Doily Allergen is Actually Staffed by Sexy Hunks
Hubba hubba! Yep, it’s true. The secret is out. We’re all a bunch of big, beefy sexy muscle bros. That’s right. We hope this doesn’t...
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