Burge Pianist Who Cannot Play “City of Stars” Tries Anyway

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The Doily Allergen is currently on a staff retreat to a far off land, Burge Residence Hall. After filling our bellies with top-of-the-line smoothies and questionable sushi, we’ve decided to chill around the Burge lobby to bring our groundbreaking articles to you, dear reader.

Enter freshman Preston Butters, known as the Burge Pianist, who commutes in the bunnels every day to play the piano in the Burge lobby. He inspects the piano bench before giving the ivory keys a try. Right now, it’s a run-through of “City of Stars” from the almost 2016 Best Picture Winner, La La Land.

“I’m such a film bro. I picked up piano when I was younger, but mostly play by ear now. I’m trying to learn this song,” Butters told us when we asked him about his frequent visits to the Burge piano. Yeah dude, everyone here can tell.

As Butters fumbles through the song over and over, he switches back to “Clair de Lune,” a song that he knows how to play well, and back to his lousy attempt at “City of Stars,” ultimately creating the most overstimulating auditory experience.

Burge lobby loungers have put on their noise-canceling headphones. Walking taco enjoyers have taken their food to the basement. Butters can’t seem to get past the Ryan Gosling jazz whistling intro. He has started to whistle to seemingly aid him in his playing.

“Every day he comes here to play an assortment of music. It’s so bad. It’s always a few measures of music before he moves onto something else. Somehow, he always comes back to “City of Stars.” I try to drown it out when I blend the smoothies. His piano skills kinda ruined the entire movie of La La Land for me,” an anonymous Clinton Street Market employee told the Doily Allergen.

We admire Butters’ discipline and tenacity without sheet music. Still, it seems that the general consensus wants him to try a one semester hour piano class.