Dance Marathon partners with Shen Yun

With the sun setting at 4:30 pm and the looming stress of finals, sophomore Jane Doe is eagerly awaiting a stress-free winter break. But before she can kick back and pig out on homemade meals, Doe has fundraising goals to meet and acquaintances to panhandle. Yep, it’s that time of year again, so start emptying your pockets and shimmying those shoulders, because Dance Marathon is just around the corner!

Seemingly out of the blue, everyone you’ve ever met will be collecting donations for Dance Marathon. First, someone in your Acting gen ed will mention it during your weekly “highs & lows” icebreaker. Then, you’ll spot a table on T. Anne Cleary. A club desperately promoting itself on T. Anne? Fork found in kitchen.” But this table will catch your eye. Instead of those 5’ 6”, fedora-tipping, red-pilled, mouth-breathing types harassing passersby, it’s the bubbly all-Americans Dance Marathoners who fight for your hallowed ears.

All of a sudden, pretty sorority girls are shoving flyers in your face on your way to the dining hall and asking for “just one minute to help save a sick cancer kid.” A minute becomes five, ten, fifteen, and before long, you’re texting Aunt Cheryl a link to your donation page.

Jane Doe does not take her responsibilities as talent coordinator lightly, and her hard work seems to be paying off. After months of tireless negotiating, an exclusive deal between UIowa DM and the world-famous Shen Yun performing company has been made.

Shen Yun, best known for its promotional posters decorating diners across America, is a traveling performance company that performs “traditional Chinese culture as it once was.” What exactly that means is unclear, but based on the posters alone, it seems to involve airborne women, pastel silks, and at least one guy mid–power stance on a cloud.

For Doe and the Dance Marathon executive board, the appeal was obvious.

“Shen Yun is all about hope, inspiration, and achieving spiritual transcendence,” Doe explained, “And that’s basically what DM is too—just with more screaming and neon shirts. The Falun Gong have been super helpful and easy to collaborate with! Their reps have been super helpful and, like, intensely enthusiastic about ‘sharing their message.’ I didn’t totally get what the message was, but they smiled a lot, so I think it’s fine.”

As part of the partnership, Shen Yun will graciously be providing choreography workshops, costume consultations, and something described as “a guided journey through the celestial realm,” which the DM exec team is “still figuring out logistically.”

When asked whether Shen Yun’s involvement might distract from the fundraising mission, Doe shook her head. “Absolutely not. We’re here FTK — For The Kids. Every dollar goes to the kids. And every complimentary Shen Yun ticket voucher goes… somewhere unrelated. Don’t worry about it.”