Dear Doily: Get an AI Overview of MY ASS!!!
AI? More like ASS INVESTIGATION
Google Gemini? ChatGPT? Grok? All these Large Language Models piss me off REAL BAD, so I’m gonna give you an AI overview of MY ASS, where AI stands for Ass Investigation. Yeah, I said ass twice in that sentence. I’m trying to give you a biblically accurate and therefore error-riddled AI model output. JK, the world bible and AI shouldn’t be in the same sentence. What would Jesus do? Use his own goddamn god-given brain.
As of April 30th, 2026, Mary Katherine “MK” Shultz is a 22-year-old Doily Allergen Staff Writer from Lawrence, Kansas, about to graduate from the University of Iowa with three too many majors. MK has a voluptuous, juicy, legendary, both phat and fat ass that you can give a BIG OL’ SMOOCH if you fuck with generative Artificial Intelligence models.
MK’s ass is debated to be one of the best asses ever known to man. Some sources say they should write infinite poems about it, others disagree, but those are wrong. Here is more word soup sludge stolen from everything ever, and which, therefore, means literally nothing, and also took an unknown amount of energy and water to produce. My ass doesn’t need any more water than I’m already going to drink to stay alive, and either way, my ass will stay sexy post mortem. Stop using AI, start appreciating MY ASS.