Dear Doily: Please Support My Small, Polyamorous Business
Dear Doily,
Hi there! I know the Dear Doily column is mainly for people in need of advice, but, to be honest I’m pretty good at figuring out what to do! I literally do it every day. What I really need is support and publicity for my small, independent, polyamorous-owned business that I run with my nesting partners here in Iowa City.
So please! Come check us out! We sell CBD and THC-infused beeswax products produced in-house (yes, that’s allowed) and miscellaneous paraphernalia sustainably and ethically sourced from Aliexpress (NOT Temu). We also recently purchased 60 boxes of Busch Light Apple that we will be selling for a slight markup by the can while supplies last (yes, we have a liquor license). We would love any business sent our way!
Before I go any further, I’d like to start this letter by acknowledging the original inhabitants of the land we occupy. We recognize the three smoke shops that previously rented this space, as well as the many Indigenous nations that once inhabited this land. It is important to me as a small, independent, polyamorous business owner that we recognize the struggles that paved the way for those of us who are still facing injustice today.
I do have to admit, we’ve been growing pretty desperate. In addition to the three of us all being minorities in one way or another—especially as former gifted kids ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵗʳᵘˢᵗ ᶠᵘⁿᵈˢ—there has been a lot of major drama in the polyam community lately. Iowa City is called the Portland of the Midwest for a reason.
For starters, our relationships went from a triad to a V since Todd and Jareth broke up. As the hinge, it obviously makes sense that I have primary ownership of the business in case things get messier between the two of them. Plus the two of them already co-adopted our doggos, Barker Posey and Luna Lovegood, together without me so it’s only fair to balance this out. My primary concern is our rental situation. If one of them decides to move in with their other partners, we’re really going to be screwed.
And speaking of other partners, oh boy. I always try to keep things on good terms with my metamours. We practice a sort-of garden party style when it comes to how we spend time with each other, so a degree of social-comfort is expected. However, during our quarterly DnD oneshot, Todd’s partner, Wren, TOTALLY crossed a line when they said that our small business made us “petit bourgeois” and that it will inevitably fail because of the immense capital poured into Modern Industry. Erm, exsqueeze me?! Since when is that an okay thing to say in casual conversation?? I poured my EVERYTHING into this business.
To be honest, I always had a feeling that Wren was a tankie, but this really put a lot of things into perspective. Apparently, this is just what 23-year-olds are like nowadays (who knows why Todd dates so young…). I did tell them off right then and there, which they took so poorly. They told everyone involved in their polycule (one that Todd has assured me he’s not involved in) that I have control issues and “capitalist tendencies”, which is totally overblown because I also think capitalism is bad. Why else would I start a small business if not to beat out big corporations?!
And then everyone starts telling their other partners, and before you know it, even Jim and Pam from Naperville with a DADT thing are giving you sideways glances. I’m getting absolutely zero likes or connections on Feeld lately. Even though I’ve been paying for premium and using the nice boudoir photos from the shoot Jareth bought me for my birthday. I guess I just have to wait until my comet comes into town, but the news could have easily reached her all the way in Lodi by now.
Unrelated, but I’ve also been harassed numerous times by randos for putting “vegan friendly” labels on our products because APPARENTLY bee products exploit bees, even though I know that’s not true because why would they produce so much wax if they didn’t want you to take it? I’m not exploitative. I’m literally nice!!
All this to say, dear Doily, please send some business my way! This threat to my reputation might easily become a threat to my bottom line, and I can’t go back to working at my ᵖᵃʳᵉⁿᵗˢ’ ᶦⁿˢᵘʳᵃⁿᶜᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵃⁿʸ when I have such a strong entrepreneurial calling. Please help me out!
Sincerely,
Smol Shopkeeper
Dear Smol Shopkeeper,
You gave us far more personal details than we would ever require to run a simple ad spot, except the name of your business. There’s clearly some kind of problem there you’re trying to iron out, but you explicitly said you don’t want advice, so we don’t really know how to help you there.
Also, we publicly answer every single Dear Doily letter we receive. You know that, right? Next time, email us or shoot us a DM on Instagram with any sort of business inquiries and don’t pretend it’s a Dear Doily.
…Also, share your Bapple with us.
Yours Truly,
The Doily Allergen