Doily Allergen Gets Deployed

Government Re-opens, We’re Shipped Off

Due to the government shutdown ending, the staff of the Doily Allergen has unfortunately been deployed into military service and will be inactive for an indeterminate amount of time.

If you’re wondering how an entire university newspaper staff can be suddenly deployed, so are we! Something, something the government re-opened; something, something military funding is restored; something, something they’re trying to shut us up. We don’t really know; it’s all Greek to us! Good thing we’re not going to Greece. At least we think we’re not. We haven’t checked our email again.

So, Bon Voyage and Toodaloo from the University of Iowa’s only student newspaper, we’re off to serve our country hopefully by doing some pointless menial labor spiced up by our best weaponized incompetence. What are they gonna do, give our gay and mentally ill asses guns?

Have faith that we will do everything in our power to make a prompt return to our journalistic efforts, and it definitely won’t perfectly align with when classes start up again after fall break.