Opinion: And When Everything is a Midterm, Nothing Will Be

It is the sixth week of classes; that is, we are just about a third of the way done with this semester. Notice how it is not one half. And yet…

Yes, that’s right. You might be wondering, “wow Doily, every semester you guys make a midterm joke. Don’t you think it’s kind of cheap?” And yes, dear reader, we are stating the obvious. How else are we to be a newspaper in this day and age? Nobody can read anymore. If we don’t clarify our position on midterms being ass, someone might misinterpret that as us excusing our professors.

We can’t let the silence stand any further. It must be asked: What the hell is a midterm anymore? They never happen in the middle of a term. Their meaning has been erased, gone the way of “literally” from like a couple decades ago. Or as desensitized as therapy-speak from someone who mildly annoys you on TikTok.

Professors have their excuses, sure. But “staggering” midterms only works so well when literally every class manages to schedule their so-called “midterm” at the exact same time, without fail. The trauma will cause students to neglect their self-care, without any way to set a boundary. God forbid.

This is a call-to-action, for both students and staff of the University of Iowa, to band together and actually restore the meaning of the word “midterm” to save our souls. That isn’t a midterm, it’s a cumulative exam. Or a quiz. Or a group project you’re just too afraid to acknowledge is a group project.

They may cause the same mental distress, but let’s be specific! Or, you know, have a break in the middle of the semester instead of shotgunning it to the holidays, but you do you, Iowa.