OPINION: Goose is not geese and goose came to iowa city, not carmen snow

Duck Duck Goose Mother Fucker

Carmen Snow, president of the Hunger Games franchise, IS the head honcho of Geese the band the bird. GOOSE the band the bird came to Iowa City in order to spread their tasty jams, not the paste for bread. They were hosted by GFA (Goose Fellas Anonymous), which turned out to be a million geese.

Geese are an evil species. When the fallen angel crashed into Earth, just before he broke the crust and fell deeper, into the bottomless bowels of hell, he plucked one fingernail from his pinky and tossed it to the nearest dinosaur. That dinosaur? Yeah. That became a goose.

This is why Carmon discusses the existence of God in his song “$0,” where at the end he says, “God is real.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: Our sincerest apologies, readers. Cameron Winter of the band Geese broke into Doily headquarters and wrote this article. We decided to post it, as it is a truly insightful look into the male mind, and tomorrow we will be posting his home address and phone number.