Opinion: Iowa City Needs More Avoidant Women.
Ladies, for too long I have sat idle as men with empathy issues slowly colonize avoidant attachments. I’m an avoidant woman, and I’m scared of commitment. There. I said it. And you know what? I’m tired of hiding it!!
I want to text you all night and hide from you in public. I don’t want to put your name in my phone yet. I am going to give you my Instagram and ignore your follow request. And if I’m being honest, I might chase you and then run away! Now I understand this might sound cruel or manipulative, and it certainly is, but!!!! I’m describing half the men on this damn campus!!!! If they can do it, then I can too #equality.
To quote Gloria Steinem, “Women are always saying, ‘We can do anything a man can do.’ But men should be saying, ‘We can do anything that women can do.’” And you know what?? She’s right!
Some of you just want to be a girl soooooo bad. You want to be an avoidant woman soooooo bad. Just look at these performative male contests. We’re just going to sit around and reward men for dressing like my ex-girlfriend??
Sigh.
It seems almost daily I see beautiful women trapped in (partially?) exclusive relationships with men whose only personality traits are listening to Clairo and Frank Ocean. Boy, turn off that Clairo and grab you a beer. You don’t even know her like I do. What we should be asking is which ex-girlfriend put them on. Start that fight ladies!!!
But, let us not forget about the female manipulators. For example, Beca Mitchell. In Pitch Perfect, Anna Kendrick plays an avoidant queen with the voice of an angel. Sure, Beca was an awful DJ, and kind of an asshole, but the movie was liiiiiiiterally all about her. Jesse followed her around, set up dates, genuinely SERANADED her, and she didn’t do shit. She didn’t do shit! Beca was emotionally unavailable, didn’t communicate, and he was still obsessed with her!!
I will not fall for any of this “manic pixie dream girl” propaganda. I was not put on this earth to help a man discover the world. What about a “manic pixie dream BOY”? HUH?!
Like, do I know what I want? No. Not really. But these men sure do! They just won’t tell you?? Like “Ooooh I have a secret! Ooooo. I need to be all mysterious.” Boy, take out those damn wired earbuds and just talk to her. Don’t piss me off.
Iowa City, it’s time we even the score! Go out there and kiss a man on his forehead. Hit on his friends. And if all else fails, cold text your ex. #classic.