"Slam Frank" to be Added to Hancher’s 2026 Slate

In what can only be described as the most dramatic theater ultimatum since Lea Michelle was last asked to read a script (and promptly resigned from the company), Virgil Hancher’s trust has dropped a bombshell: the beloved Hancher Auditorium must showcase the off-Broadway sensation Slam Frank in their 2026 season—or else face the ultimate punishment: a forced renaming.

The warning came at 3:01 a.m. on October 14th:

@VHancherTrust: BOR: We can’t delay any longer, it’s killing our reputation and credibility. They must give us Slam Frank or JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED!!! Maybe we will just have to rename it “Hancher WAS THE LAST GOOD PRESIDENT Auditorium”—President VH (Trust)

Since this is how we apparently communicate nowadays, the curators have capitulated.

Slam Frank is a 2025 musical interpretation of the life of Anne Frank–if she had been a pansexual Afro-Latina, of course. Both a history lesson and a slam poetry showdown, the show has been praised for rewriting the narrative with enough flair to make even Edward Bernays raise an eyebrow.

While initially skeptical of the offer, Slam Frank’s creators, Andrew Fox and Joel Sinesky, have graciously agreed to temporarily halt their off-Broadway run to accommodate the Hancher Trust’s request. In a recent statement, they said:

“We want to share Anita’s story with as many people as we can. When we started this project, we never imagined others would actually join us in deconstructing Anne Frank’s white privilege. Once we figure out where exactly Iowa is, we will be there, ready to drop bars and maybe even a few tears.”

In the meantime, Hancher staff are reportedly preparing for the production by repainting the green room in “intersectional beige” in anticipation of their arrival.