Student Spotlight: The Frat Guy Who Liked You On Hinge For The 5th Time

A Hinge notification pops up on your phone.

“Finally,” you think. “Someone wants me.”

As you pull up your “Likes” page, all that dopamine gets sucked out of your body and escapes lifelessly at your feet. This account liked you before. In fact, this account liked you five separate times. You even matched with him once, but he just never said anything. It’s almost sentimental in a way. A pitiful camaraderie.

This is a composite account of numerous stories throughout the Iowa City Hinge community. This man, Trent F. Dickson, keeps reappearing in feeds all across campus. Straight or gay? He’s there. Put your age preferences to men over 30? Trent is there, verified, with a shitty AI age filter.

We at the DI had a hard time tracking Trent down, as this name is not attributed to any UI email. We actually had to hop on Hinge ourselves (the horror) in an effort to match with him, as this was the only way of contacting him. We established contact after matching with Trent, but responses were brief and left us waiting. Below lies the transcript.

DI: Hey! It’s the Doily Allergen. Ik this is so weird but you are kinda like a celebrity on campus. Can we schedule an interview? (Sent 1:00pm.)

DI: Hey! This is the Doily Allergen (again LOL). Just following up. This article is due in a couple days so please let me know! Thank you. (Sent 8:03pm)

Trent: hey u up? (Sent 2:50am)

Trent: wanna hang out? (Sent 3:21am)

DI: Hi. Yes. Hi. Sorry I was sleeping. Yes. Yes I would love to hang out. The interview should not be that long, maybe fifteen minutes of your time. Might be longer though! Thank you. Yes. Can you make it to our studio in Adler? Let me know when, I can make coffee! Please text back soon as the article is due, like, tomorrow. Thank you. (Sent 8:30am)

Doily Allergen has turned off notifications (1:09pm)

Doily Allergen has turned off notifications (10:34pm)

Trent: hey u up? (sent 4:21am)

The DI wishes our readers luck in the hellscape that is modern dating. If they see Trent while swiping, please let him know that his coffee is getting cold.