The Doily Allergen Dishonorably Discharged For Trying to Fake a Yeast Infection to Get Dishonorably Discharged

No Suppository in Sight

Welp. We didn’t even make it a week.

Those drill sergeant dudes were so mean and for no reason :( like wtf? We didn’t do anything… :(

So what does any reasonable pony do in this situation? Why, we fake a yeast infection, of course! We started complaining about tummy aches and blue poop and stuff. What even are symptoms of a yeast infection? Hell if we know! We complained about nonsense loud enough until the drill sergeants got sick of it and threw us into the military hospital.

We drove the other people in our ward crazy because apparently we can’t take anything seriously. All we would talk about is shitty pitches for articles that we would never write. It got us in trouble enough times until they started having suspicions of whether all of us actually got yeast infections at the exact same time.

Well, apparently we’re pretty bad actors because after enough complaints they figured we weren’t actually sick, and they would’ve rather stabbed their ears out than listen to us ramble for one more second. So they court-martialled our asses as soon as they could. Our plan may not have gone exactly as envisioned, but a dishonorable discharge is a dishonorable discharge! We plead guilty and now we’re home!

The United States Army may not have been able to deal with us, so now it’s all of your problems once again!