Tips and Tricks for Sexting in Your College GroupMe
Turn Your Student Org into a Student Orgy with These Easy Hacks!
It’s about the halfway point in the semester, and we understand that the average university student is in a bit of a rut. With the weather changing, colds spreading, and everyone being naturally exhausted from midterms and essays, it’s completely understandable that one becomes sick of school.
But while your motivation stores may be running dry, we believe that you shouldn’t be! And one of the best ways to spice up your sex life is by utilizing the resource you’ve been missing out on all along: GroupMe. Whether it’s your dorm hall or your student org chat, it doesn’t really matter: sexting in your GroupMe is truly the fix-all for all mid-semester woes. Here are some helpful tips and tricks to get you started:
Start Off Slow — We understand if you want to jump right into the juicy stuff, but part of the joy of sexting is the build-up. Just like you wouldn’t get intimate with a partner without any sort of foreplay (we hope!), you wouldn’t initiate sex with your entire dormitory floor or club without at least testing the waters. As Sun Tzu infamously writes in The Art of War, “You must send tasteful sack before going whole hog.”
‘Yes, And’ is Your Friend — Improv participants, who notably have tons of sex, are onto something with their rules of comedy. Your peers may say things like, “you shouldn’t be doing this here,” or “this has nothing to do with Sunset Club,” This doesn’t need to derail you! Think of these statements not as a stop sign for your fun, but as ways to improve or enhance the scene. Be creative! Come up with a reason why this needs to happen here and now. It can be as simple as team bonding.
Try A Thesaurus — The last thing you want is for your sexting to be bland and dull! Impress your peers (especially in writing-centric clubs) with your vast vocabulary. People don’t want to read about you talking about hole over and over again. Drum up arousal and intrigue by referring to it as your “cavern” or “pit” or “cistern.” When all else fails, nothing is hotter than the word “orifice.”
Polls And Pins — GroupMe, the savvy sexters’ paradise, has some awesome features you can use to engage your entire group in this sexting scene! By implementing a poll, you can use democratic principles to guarantee that everyone gets a say in what you plan to write or how much clothing you’re wearing. By temporarily pinning your starting message, you can also make sure that everyone can jump into the eroticism whenever they happen to view the message.
The More The Merrier — You may run into the issue of your peers in the group saying “sorry, we all have boyfriends/girlfriends/partners,” or “we all share one singular, collective boyfriend” in the case of Christian or Marxist organizations. This has a simple solution: invite them to join in! This does not need to be exclusionary or create distress. Unless you’re into Netorare, of course. Then you can ignore this tip.
Secret Perks — In certain extreme cases, you may be contacted in a separate DM by your RA or club president to have a talk concerning your behavior here. Understandably, this can be very distressing. But fear not! Don’t run away. A lot of times, they’re doing this specifically to get a little secret one-on-one time with you for an extra side of spice. Other times, you may get kicked out. Whoops!
Implement when2meet — Website when2meet is a GODSEND for anyone who wants to organize an in-person hangout. This can be especially useful when you want to take your salacious escapades offline. When you’ve talked the talk and are ready to walk the walk, go to the when2meet website to create an event for your student orgy, select the dates and times you’d have open for this event to take place, and send that link right on in! Responses should start pouring in and your calendar will be lit up in dark green in no time.
Use Protection — As with all risky business, your safety should be of ultimate concern. Without taking precautions, you may potentially find yourself exposed to something wholly unpleasant. That’s why The Doily Allergen recommends you utilize a VPN for all your GroupMe sexting needs.
We hope these suggestions leave you with plenty of ideas and encouragement to embark on your own sexting adventure…and that you won’t turn to the disgrace that is YikYak hornyposting.