Today, Let’s Not Forget About the REAL Patriots

As the Super Bowl fast approaches today, it is important that we don’t forget about our country’s real patriots rather than these posers led by Drake Maye and Mike Vrabel. While the fakes steal the namesake of what made our country great, the real patriots worked tirelessly to reclaim our stolen election.

Here at the The Doily, we believe it is time to recognize our nation’s REAL patriots, our country’s great visionaries who understood that true love for our nation isn’t measured in Lombardi Trophies or deflated footballs, but in the willingness to take charge in the hallways of our federal buildings, with the same level of strategic planning typically seen in the late-game Seahawks offense.

While the TRUE patriots who marched onto the Capitol were met with fierce opposition and brutality by Capitol police, these so-called “patriots” faced a historically easy schedule and little opposition, aside from the occasional mildly competent quarterback or, in rare and much scarier cases, the Las Vegas Raiders.

Fans of the New England Patriots claim that their team embodies American values, however at no point did a player ever demonstrate the civic initiative to help overturn a rigged election result. Instead, they choose to just sit back and simply play football, which raises real questions about their commitment to true patriotism. Super Bowl wins are nice, but have these “Patriots” ever carried a podium with the undeserved confidence of a man who in no way considered the consequences? Exactly.

Let’s talk about sacrifice. Our great nation’s patriots were willing to storm the marble hallways and livestream for those who weren’t able to bravely take a stand in our country’s darkest hour. Many had to face the harsh conditions of prison, waiting for President Trump to return. Saving them from their unjust sentence. Meanwhile, New England’s “Patriots” have endured nothing more challenging than occasional booing from Jets fans, a team that hasn’t inspired fear in anyone since the invention of the forward pass.

Some critics may argue, “It makes no sense to compare an NFL franchise to an attempted coup.” To that we say: have you even seen the Patriots’ schedule over the last twenty years?! While TRUE patriots encountered resistance at every turn, New England mostly faced quarterbacks who gave up midway through games and defenses that part like the Red Sea.

Football franchises can claim banners or trophies as much as they want, but that has never matched the sheer willpower of ordinary citizens willing to traverse the uncertain conditions of our nation’s capital. Their mission was driven by pure patriotism, unlike the path to Lombardi trophies.

So, as you watch the Super Bowl today, ask yourself: which Patriots truly represent American values? The ones who have spent years winning coin tosses and benefiting from convenient rule interpretations, or the ones who proved they are willing to put everything on the line for freedom.

God bless America, but more importantly, go Hawks and go 12s!