Top Ways to Spot a Fedora Wearer BEFORE You’re Stuck on a Hinge Date With One

After our writers’ terrible luck with Hinge dates, from dry ass texts to Cambus drivers, another one of our own was stuck on a terrible date with a man who showed up in a fedora. You heard us right, a fedora. After so much bad luck on the app, we have decided to turn our garbage into your gold and give our dear readers some of our hard-earned advice.

So, without further ado, here are our top ways to spot a fedora wearer before you’re stuck on a date with one.

Tip 1: His Texts

Read the lines of what your match is saying (no, not between them, these men don’t understand subtext.) It’s important not to give them the benefit of the doubt. If he says things like “M’lady” or “Princess” in the opening messages, don’t assume he’s doing it ironically. Run.

Tip 2: Ask Subtly

Before meeting up, ask what he’s going to be wearing. Be sure to specify if you will or won’t be wearing a hat. This way, a fedora wearer will be compelled to brag about his fedora. Their kind physically cannot resist it.

Tip 3: Ask About His Interests

If he likes Anime, find out if it’s a normal amount. Anything more than casually should be concerning to you. Where there’s an anime obsession, a fedora is not far behind.

You can also ask about their favorite movies. Misogyny is a gateway to fedora wearing. If they have terrible taste or belittle how much you love Chicken Run (the June 2000 masterpiece), you should delete him and the app.

Tip 4: Be Shallow

Let’s face it, if the guy on the profile has sexy hair, he isn’t likely to hide it under an ugly, terrible thing like a fedora. If every photo of your match has their hair covered, him showing up wearing a fedora is not a long shot.

Tip 5: Leave

Lastly, if none of these work, leave immediately. That $7 coffee he won’t be paying for isn’t worth listening to him talk for two hours without asking you a question. As soon as you see the fedora, get up and leave.

We hope our tips will help everyone out there avoid this species of dater! Going to Java House excited to meet a sexy new paramour and ending up with a fedora-donning dweeb is the last thing anyone should deal with. We know our writer is still recovering from that paralysing experience.