UIowa Athletics Rep Catches Frisbee in Mouth

Ain’t no rule says a normal regular guy can’t play Ultimate.

No, you’re not seeing things– that’s just the athletics wunderkind, Guy St. Bernard, making the winning catch yet again! This sports legend was recently elected to ISAAC in a historic win for the Men’s Ultimate Frisbee Club. Never before has a member exceeded their ranks and gone into a leadership position such as the athletics department student representative, but then again, never before has such a player attended this institution.

If you haven’t experienced the hype for yourself yet, you might not know about St. Bernard’s signature move: at the last minute, if his hands don’t reach, it’s between his teeth. A groundbreaking move within his circles, and certainly never pulled off by another player. Often called the most intelligent of his kind, his days are spent winning games and studying– can you believe it?– archaeology.

Our reporter sat in on an ISAAC meeting to survey St. Bernard in his element.

“He walks in: cool, calm, collected. The room loves him. Girls and guys on all sides, ruffling his tawny locks, letting him know he’s the best around. When I try to approach him for comment, he turns away. He’s momentarily distracted from the attention, letting his buddies know that there’s something outside the window. The meeting is cut short when the athletics rep falls asleep.”

Sounds like a successful meeting to us! If you feel like you need to see the illustrious Guy St. Bernard in action, you can catch him at the upcoming Ultimate tournament, or at any of the parks near campus. You can most often find him drinking water as fast as he possibly can, or running without a shirt on.