White Spanish Professor, Known for Teaching Vosotros Conjugations, Found Dead

¡Qué horrible!

Tragedy has struck the University of Iowa Spanish Department as beloved Spanish professor Ian McSpain, 42, was found dead outside his home in Coralville. McSpain, an assistant professor who had been teaching at the university for nine years, taught primarily low-level Spanish courses, along with a course on Spanish Literature and the controversial SPAN:4050, Issues in Conjugation. Born in Threefiddle, Nebraska, McSpain spent five years living and pursuing a higher degree in Spain before coming to the University of Iowa as a professor.

At Iowa, McSpain (or, as he asked his students to call him, Sr. Gringo) was well-regarded by students, but had one seemingly innocuous detail mentioned in all of his course evaluations: his determined use of vosotros.

“Sr. Gringo was awesome. I didn’t know how to count to tres before his class, and now I know how to count to catorce,” pre-law student Tyler White told us, “But I honestly don’t know why he taught us those vosotros conjugations.”

“He always said that he was trying to teach us the dialects so we’d, like, know them if we needed them, but I don’t think he ever taught us anything from Latin America,” Spanish program graduate Deondra Newston recalled, “Every time it was culture day, he just talked about Don Quixote and the time he was in the running of the bulls. I don’t think he knew about South America. I don’t know who taught him ‘gringo’.”

“Sr. Gringo seemed really surprised when I told him that my family spoke Spanish. And, like, I was wearing a Mexican flag shirt,” civil engineering student Julia Duran told us. “Last year, I slipped up and said… y’know, the word… at a family gathering. My mom won’t look me in the eyes.”

Witnesses report seeing Professor McSpain at Cactus 3 the night that he was killed, though one student tells a disturbing story. “Yeah, I love Sr. Gringo,” former student Kacey Wallammasson told our correspondent, “Sorry, past tense, I guess. But it was weird, I saw him yelling at a dude at Cactus, like yelling yelling, and I honestly couldn’t understand it because I don’t remember that much Spanish, but he kept saying ‘vosotros’ really emphatically. He was still yelling about it when the employees asked him to leave. I don’t even think he was drunk.”

If you have any more information about this horrible loss of life, contact the ICPD (or, if you wanna be a real supporter, tell us before the Daily Iowan). McSpain is survived by his familia, two gatos, and innumerable Elementary Spanish students forever changed by his teachings. For all of our Spanish-speaking audience out there, stay safe! ¡Todos manteneos seguros!