Apartments At Iowa Hikes Rent To One Of Your Roommates’ Organs Per Month
Last week, Iowa City residents were stunned to find that Apartments At Iowa had hiked its standard rent rate to one resident’s organ per month.
“After we heard, my roommates and I sat down and had a long conversation,” Derek Plemons said. “We all agreed that if each of us gave up our appendix and one kidney, we’d be able to pay for eight more months of our lease. After that it’s pretty much everyone for themselves. Off the record, I’ve already started planning for then.”
Apartments at Iowa explained their reasoning behind the change.
“Ultimately, it came down to increasing revenues without driving renters away with absurd pricing,” said Lindsay Silner. “Originally, we tried to increase monthly rents to two, even three organs per month, but after a negative public reaction, we lowered it to just one organ per residence. We figured it was the right thing to do. We’re not monsters.”
Silner also mentioned that at some point in the next year, the company plans to increase parking rates by a currently undetermined amount.
“We’ll be using focus groups to gauge if our residents would rather pay 1,000 emeralds or their first born child,” Silner said. “To be honest, all of us at the office have a couple bets going, so we’re all very curious to see which one they’ll pick.”