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  • Doily Allergen

BYU Transfer Student Afraid She Won’t Find Husband by Graduation


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Many young adults struggle with their love lives. But when an individual’s stakes for dating are higher than the average college student’s, the stress can be higher too. Such is the case for Josephine Stannard, a transfer student from Brigham Young University, the Utah college famously sponsored by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She fears she will be unable to find a godly husband in Iowa City by her graduation date.


“I have faith that God will lead me to the perfect husband soon enough,” Stannard says. “But the men in Iowa City make it very difficult for me to trust in His timing.”


Stannard, 20, is a devout Mormon and native of Ankeny, Iowa. She first decided to attend Brigham Young to enrich her faith, entering college as, as she puts it, “an accounting major, or something.” She says she made the difficult decision to return to her home state and attend the University of Iowa when she took an introductory calculus class.


“I remember when I found out that I scored a D on my first calc exam,” she explains. “It was at that moment that I felt the Lord putting it on my heart to be a wife and mother. It’s clear to me that God’s design for womanhood does not involve thinking about big numbers.”


Stannard decided to take advantage of UI’s in-state tuition rates and study elementary education. Her main priority is finding a “ring by spring” of her graduation year–a joke she told me while laughing at an uncomfortable volume. However, she finds the quality of the Iowa City dating pool to be below her standard of marital fitness.


“I was shocked when I realized how most of the men at the University of Iowa behave,” says Stannard. “They all love to say curse words, such as the F word and the A word and the SH word. In my opinion, a true man shows restraint. There’s no need to say anything spicier than ‘golly’ or ‘for Pete’s sake.’”


It appears to Stannard that most of her male peers at UI are incompatible with her religious lifestyle, especially regarding substances.


“I began texting with a guy in one of my classes who seemed interested in me,” she confessed, “but things went downhill after he found out my personal boundaries. He asked if I wanted to come with him to DC’s or Brother’s to drink alcohol that night. I said no. He then asked if I wanted to get coffee with him at High Ground the next morning. I also said no. Why does everyone seem obsessed with mind-altering chemicals?”


When asked what her idea of a perfect husband entailed, she responded, “Tall, attractive, kind, attends Bible study and church with me. Doesn’t drink alcohol, doesn’t drink coffee, doesn’t drink tea. He should respect women, except for the ones who have abortions or wear tube tops. And he should never, in any circumstances, ask me to go out on a Sunday unless it’s for church or to play tiddlywinks with my Great-Aunt Esther.”


When I suggested that she join a campus religious organization, such as Salt Company, she balked.


“Absolutely not. SaltCo–they’re like some sort of religious cult, right? I’ve heard all the members are a bunch of pious fanatics.”


She then directed a statement to all of Doily Allergen’s female readers: “Ladies, God has the perfect, godly husband picked out for you somewhere who you will meet in His holy timing. And that man will not be found in Salt Company.”

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