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  • Ev Walters

Caitlin Clark ‘Resting Up’ in Room with Yellow Wallpaper

Caitlin Clark standing in front of yellow wallpaper with another, semi-transparent Caitlin Clark in the wallpaper

Caitlin has had an absolutely phenomenal season thus far, and this year’s March Madness tournament is no exception. Not only is the University of Iowa women’s team one of four number one seeds (ranked number two overall), but her superstar record has made her the number one player to watch for, especially since her confirmation of joining the WNBA draft. But what does Caitlin do when she’s not dominating the court or speaking to the press? How does she get reprieve from all this noise?


After a long period of investigation, we have finally found where Caitlin goes to relax: an upstairs nursery room in a colonial mansion with yellow wallpaper. The decorations are sparse: windows are barred, the bed is bolted down, and the floor is, what many would say,  “scratched and gouged and splintered.” Talk about a quaint, minimalist paradise!


“I’m just resting up here for now,” Caitlin told the Doily Allergen, refusing to look at us and instead gazing directly at the wall. “My doctors have prescribed a rest cure to avoid using up all my energy before the big game. It’s not much, but I can always find something to keep me preoccupied. Like, have you SEEN this wallpaper?”


The most notable feature of this room is, in fact, the tattered golden-yellow wallpaper. Caitlin has shown immense fascination with it, likely to do with how much it aligns with our Hawkeye team colors. Her team spirit knows no bounds.


“The more you’re around this wallpaper, the more it changes and morphs before your very eyes. Mutating in the moonlight, leaving smudges on the clothing, It’s so strange…” Caitlin continued. “I’ve noticed that there’s something inside there. A figure... a woman in the wallpaper… I need to get her out.” Her eyes were wide as she moved her hands and began peeling off the wallpaper in front of us, starting slow and gradually building to a frantic, urgent enthusiasm.


Friends and loved ones say she’s been doing this since the start of March, occasionally creeping around on all fours. Perhaps this sort of “creeping” exercise has been giving her a competitive edge. Only time will tell! Caitlin and the Hawkeyes will play again tonight at 7pm CST versus the West Virginia Mountaineers…if they can get her out of the room, that is.











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