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  • Doily Allergen

Class Waiting For Someone To Tell Professor His Dog Is Going To Town In Background


The theme for Professor Wock’s “Introduction to Geriatric Care,” class this year was the damaging effects of dementia and Alzheimer’s on elderly people. He wanted to use this class to emphasize the importance of taking care of the elderly community and how, as compassionate researchers, they can help progress curing such neurological diseases. This was a difficult time to be talking about such serious subjects, but for the students it was made more difficult by the fact that Professor Wock’s french bulldog was going ham on jacking off in their Professor’s background in every single Zoom class.

“It’s so hard to focus on anything Dr. Wock is saying when all I can do is stare into the aroused eyes of that stupid dog,” Senior Robert Mann said, brushing away a few tears.“He just slaps his paw against himself and all I can hear is the thump of it. Nothing the Professor says even matters at that point.”

Another student, Sophomore Caylin Westman, mentioned how there was one time they were learning about a woman who forgot her entire family existed, and while the Professor thought they were all upset because of the story.

“It was actually just because that creepy little fuck was back at it again,” she said. “It’s like he knows.”

It’s been a common complaint the entire semester that Professor Wock please, for the love of God, just put the dog in another room. But considering the awkwardness of the interaction, no one wanted to bring it up. However, in lieu of the TikTok trend where students thank their Professors for leading such good classes during COVID-19, Professor Wock’s class thought it was a good chance to finally tell him the truth. There was a plan coordinated days in advance between the students to have all their cameras off at the start of class. When the Professor began to ask why everyone was remaining unvisible, they all turned them back on, each holding handwritten signs that said, “YOUR DOG HAS BEEN MASTURBATING BEHIND YOU ALL SEMESTER, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.”

Professor Wock promptly sent an email of apology to his class after these events, promising all his students a pass on their final due to this traumatizing ordeal.


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