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Devil on Your Shoulder Says You Don’t Need That Coat

Charlotte Hagen

Iowa winters are something every student who has been here in January has become quickly familiar with. Snow, ice, and blistering wind chill have rung in the new spring semester—to the enjoyment of a select few masochists—along with some concerning rumors.


Sightings of students wearing clothing unfitting winter have become commonplace. Lightweight coats, no coats, shorts, and slip-on Uggs have numbered greatly among these reports, and it’s not even the runners committing these crimes!


Some students have spoken with The Doily Allergen recently about this phenomenon. Among speculation of protest, fashion trends, and lack of wardrobe, we’ve found our most convincing evidence to be infernal.


“It started with this voice in my head,” junior Matthew Breyherdt told us, “something along the lines of ‘hey, it’s me, the Devil, from the Bible.’ It gave me this idea that my legs don’t get that cold—not really—and so I could go without wearing long pants.”


“Of course, I then needed my roommate to rescue me from shivering outside the rec.” He reports this has occurred a number of times. “Most often I leave behind my coat, since I’m made to believe that it’ll be so hot indoors I’ll barely wear it anyway. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve shown up to class completely red from the frostbite.”


“I think it’s within our best interests to raise awareness about these demonic influences.” Is Breyherdt’s main takeaway from his experience. He cites his time at Soap Co. as a force that helped him battle these inner demons. He recommends everyone visit them sometime. He even gave us a card.


As for the Devil, or demon, or whatever, Doily recommends you use whatever forces at hand to combat against its ways and the cold. Yes, even if it means wearing that coat. Yes, even if it’s 30 degrees out. You know the windchill is going to bring that to 15.

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