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  • Doily Allergen

DJ Khaled Dismissed from University Choir

dj khaled at uiowa voxman building

Members of the University of Iowa’s University Choir were surprised to find that they would begin their semester with a new classmate: world-famous rapper and music producer Khaled Mohammed Khaled, better known by his stage name DJ Khaled. However, the star’s time spent in the choir ended nearly as soon as it started when he was dismissed from the choir this week.

“I was looking forward to taking part in the choral artistry that the University of Iowa’s music program is renowned for, but the instructors were not prepared for the next-level vibes I brought to the table,” the “All I Do Is Win” performer stated. “Unfortunately, they played themselves.”

Dr. Titus Schwartz, head conductor of the University Choir, claims that Khaled’s musicianship did not align with the choir’s curriculum. “We were excited to have Mr. Khaled as an addition to our tenor section, but he proved to be a disruption to our work. He insisted on shouting ‘DJ KHALED!’ at the beginning of each of our run-throughs, which is not appropriate for classical choral pieces.”

Khaled, who is known for his record collaboration with major names like Drake and Lil Wayne, became interested in UChoir as a way to expand his artistry. “If you wanna be a champion, you gotta think outside the box, do something no one else is doing. And one day I thought to myself, ‘You know what no other rapper in the game is trying right now? Joining a college concert choir in Iowa.’”

Dr. Daniel Patterson, assistant director of University Choir, claims that Khaled seemed like a promising addition to the choir at first. “We didn’t know what to expect when he walked onto the stage for his audition, but his skillful rendition of Puccini’s ‘Che Gelida Manina’ brought tears to our eyes. He seemed a bit confused when we asked him to sight-read. I don’t think he’d ever actually seen sheet music before. But I mean, c’mon. How many choir programs can say they’ve admitted DJ Khaled?”

Other choir members had mixed feelings about Khaled’s time in the program.

“I was starstruck when I saw him in the seat next to mine. I couldn’t believe one of my favorite producers had joined UChoir,” said fellow tenor and music education major Ethan Chung. “However, it seems like his musical style wasn’t quite the same as ours. If the tenor line was too high for him, he would just rap the lyrics instead. And he interrupted our run-through of Beethoven’s ‘Missa Solemnis’ because the ‘beat wasn’t fire enough.’”

When asked if he was disappointed to be dismissed from UChoir, Khaled said “I’m chillin’.”

He could be seen, however, wiping a single tear from his eye. Now that he is no longer part of the choir, Khaled plans to return to his previous work: promoting his latest album, modeling for Savage X Fenty, and seeking revenge against Smash Mouth.


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