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  • Tessa Ramsden

Doily Allergen Members Gave Up Being Hot for Lent. Here’s How it’s Going.


Doily Allergen lent

Lent is the forty weekdays leading up to Easter, where for a month and a half Christians will give up something they cherish to honor Jesus sacrificing himself for them. We here at the Doily Allergen aren’t really religious–have you seen some of the blasphemous shit we publish?? –but we felt like we were going to miss out on a fun forty day challenge if we didn’t give something up too. Our dozens of active members all came together and agreed to test ourselves by giving up the thing we value most about ourselves: being hot.


One of the main requirements for all Doily Allergen staff is that you have to be a super-hottie. Regardless of gender, sexual orientation, and general appearance, if you don’t have heads turning when you walk down the street, Doily Allergen isn’t going to hire you. However, in the spirit of turning suffering into YouTube style challenges, we reluctantly shedded our cuteness and prepared for forty weekdays of being normal ugly people.


With just eight days left in Lent, Doily Allergen staff members have reported being pushed to their limits, but we are still holding strong. When asked for examples of how their lives have changed by not being hot, here were some of the comments.


“Before this, when I would fail an exam, my professors would just let me revise it and try again! Now, when I got a 30 on my midterm, my professor handed it back to me and spit on my face,” one member recalls.


“I work at a bar, and I used to get the most tips out of anyone on staff,” another says. “These past 40 days, I’ve hardly had enough tip money to buy my daily venti iced caramel macchiato!”


In the midst of all this suffering, the president of the Doily Allergen called a meeting to discuss the possibility of dropping out of Lent and returning to their full hotness, citing worries of the website and Instagram’s performance as reasoning. Thankfully, after a heartfelt series of team building exercises and an impromptu therapy session, the members all agreed to stick it through until Good Friday.


At least we have the weekends to go out and party like the sexy motherfuckers we are. Stay strong out there, Lenters.

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