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  • Byron Ellington

I Joined All 40,000 Student Orgs That Emailed Me


student org email screenshot

What’s up guys, I’m back with another epic #collegelife blog!!!! In today’s article, we’ll be taking a look at what happens when you join every single student organization that has your email address and intends to abuse it!!


That’s right, I joined every single org that sent me electronic mail — over forty thousand in total! Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve received ads for men’s sports teams, women’s sports teams, the Undergraduate Student Government, language clubs, STEM clubs, English clubs, music clubs, secret societies, and even exercise clubs that aren’t technically sports teams for some reason, and I have joined every last one of them!


The first thing I noticed after joining all of these clubs is that my schedule was suddenly pretty full. In fact, many of the orgs’ time slots actually overlap, which seems like a major oversight to me. What’s a guy like me supposed to do, just not join every single org whose email comes my way? They send those letters for a reason!


Luckily, I did find a workaround. Well, multiple workarounds. Did you know that underneath ol’ President Barb’s house, the University’s actually got a cloning machine and a time machine? Yeah, wild. They look pretty old, like from the ‘50s or something. Anyway, I tried the whole cloning thing, but I felt like it wouldn’t count on a resume since it wouldn’t really be me doing the activities, so I just dispatched the clones as needed. I think one or two got away, though. You can never be too certain when you make as many as I did, am I right? Lol. Anyway, the time machine ended up being the best solution. Now I can attend class and one or two dozen club meetings all at the same time, and still have enough time left over for studying, sleep, and friends! That’s the real moral of the story: get a time machine, folks. Downside: I’m aging over 100x faster than my peers.


The second thing I noticed after joining all these orgs was that, for some reason, most of the members of any given club will actually expect you to have some sort of baseline level of interest in whatever they’re meeting to talk about. Talk about double standards! Y’all only have to join one or two clubs; you can afford to have the energy to care about everything you go to clubs to do. But me? I’m in 40,000 clubs! You can’t seriously expect me to care about every single one, or even any of them. What’s wrong with doing it for the #bloggerlife??? Maaaan you know I gotta do it for the #


bl o gge rl


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The third thing I noticed is that after a while


of doing this whole time travel thing so much your mind


starts to feel like it’s br


eak ing


help i don’t know wh


at i’m doing


i can


’t stop


i


t


...


I have lived


a thousa


nd hours for


ever


y hour


you’ve


spent


here this


ye e ee ee a r r


s om etim es al l you can dois sc rea aaaaa a mm m



H


E


L


P




M


E




P


L


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......


the


re is noth


ingany m o r e


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


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LMAO that’s all for today guys, hope you enjoyed this week’s blog and I’ll see you next time!!! Have a good semester, lads and broskis alike!!!! I’ll s e e y o u s o o n


Until next time in my #collegelife!!!!!!!!!!!

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