Idiot Tree Still Thinks It’s Summer

BREAKING: This idiot tree apparently still thinks it’s summer. Look at all that green! Don’t you have some leaves to lose? Spoiler alert: You missed fall!

Seriously, folks. We have no idea what this tree thinks it’s doing. All the others have wisened up by now and dropped their leaves, like any tree that knows anything about anything would. We don’t know how many times we have to tell this tree, but: In. Winter. You. Don’t. Have. Leaves.

But no matter what we say, it just doesn’t listen to us! What the hell is wrong with this guy? Get with the fucking program, tree, or fuck off!

Sorry. Got a little heated there.

We’re just afraid of anything around us being different, okay?! How come this tree thinks it has the right to not do the same thing as all the others? Newsflash: You’re not special! What an asshole, right?

…Hey, stupid tree, do you, like, have any tips for confidence, or…? No? You don’t talk? Because you’re a tree? Damn.

Oh—are you still reading? Not the tree, you. Uhhhh, you saw nothing! This tree is the worst!