Johnson County Definitely Not Insinuating Anything With This Part of The Bar Graph Being Black & Gol
After publishing a series of bar graphs showing self-reported coronavirus cases since August, Johnson County Public Health (JCPH) said at a press conference that they were definitely not trying to imply anything by having the highest spikes colored black and gold.
JCPH Director of Strategic Communication Lauran Baker said that the coloring of the bar graph was completely coincidental and that University of Iowa shouldn’t feel guilty at all, in any way, whatsoever.
“It’s not a big deal,” Baker said. “These things just happen sometimes, where we tell people to do something and then certain people do the exact opposite and then we get a spike in the black and gold sections of our bar graphs. But it’s important to know that the increase in cases in Johnson County is nobody’s fault. Nobody’s. Except, well… oh, never mind, forget I said anything.”
Baker elaborated that JCPH hopes that the coincidence won’t impact their relationship with the University of Iowa, saying “who even said anything about University of Iowa, we definitely didn’t.” She concluded the press conference by pinky swearing to UI President Bruce Harreld that they absolutely, positively, were not pointing fingers through the colors of the bar graph.
“It’s definitely not your fault,” Baker told Harreld. “It’s fine. Really. It’s totally fine. Why wouldn’t it be?”
When pressed on whether they would be willing to change the colors of the bar graph, JCPH officials responded with a resounding no. Baker provided little explanation as to why and could be seen snickering to her colleagues afterward.
In an effort to spin the black and gold spike in coronavirus cases, the University of Iowa has released a limited edition “I Cough Black and Gold” T-shirt. Administrators have expressed plans to hawk the shirts outside as many local bars as possible.