McDonald’s Releases New Herky Shake

Following the success of the annual Shamrock Shake and the temporary Grimace Shake, McDonald’s has announced a new themed dessert to add to their menus everywhere: The Herky Shake.

The Herky Shake is bright neon yellow, capable of burning the retinas of anyone who happens to look at it in direct sunlight. The flavor is banana (to go with the yellow color) but with a “Herky Spice!” mentioned in the advertising. The ingredients list is so full of chemicals and concentrates that it is unclear what combination of items is supposed to contribute to said Herky Spice, but many consumers have reported it tasting strangely reminiscent of chicken or turkey.

Similar to the success of the Grimace Shake, many have taken to recording their reactions to the Herky Shake on Tiktok. Unlike with the Grimace Shake, the Herky Shake thankfully has yet to kill anyone in these videos. Instead, those who have tried the Herky Shake have reported a plethora of odd but non-fatal symptoms, including having their hands stuck holding out two fingers each in a “22” sign, feeling randomly compelled to yell “I!” as if watching a touchdown in Kinnick, and in some of the more severe cases, squawking.

Despite these symptoms, the taste of the Herky Shake has received rave reviews. “It’s like the Shamrock Shake, but more American,” one Tiktok commenter wrote, “all my favorite drinks are piss colored!” Another posted.

McDonald’s has refused to take on any other college mascots as beverages, proving that although they can’t say it for their PR, they definitely know that Herky is the best. 

Be sure to stop by your local McDonald’s and ask for the Herky Shake to ensure that our beloved hawk remains immortalized in fast food branding forever.