top of page
  • Doily Allergen

Opinion: Someone Should Really Check On Chris Wallace

chris wallace in a bar

I know that The Doily Allergen is a satire news website, but guys, after the last presidential debate I’m really worried about Chris Wallace. The only thing he’s tweeted since the debate was “Feeling like no one can hear me. I need a break. Don’t text.”

That’s a HUGE warning sign. Seriously, I’m afraid he might not be handling all of this that well, especially since all those stupid comics claiming Trump ‘won’ have started getting posted. I heard he went to SpoCo on a Wednesday afternoon and just sat at the bar. He didn’t even drink, just stared at that nasty floor.

Chris Wallace (who of course we all know is in fact a student at UIowa) reportedly dropped his rhetoric course as well. Many speculate he now suffers from post-traumatic stress after President Trump’s repeated attempts to debate Wallace instead of his opponent. Maybe Wallace hasn’t visited someone at Student Health and Wellness. He could use the help.

I think he’d appreciate it if someone just started a conversation with him, make sure he’s doing alright. I’d do it, but I’m too busy writing this article about how someone should do it.


Featured Articles

bottom of page