Ped Mall Rabbit Left Iowa City to Attend Playboy Bunny Casting Call
Many residents of Iowa City were dismayed when Bertha, one of several inflatable rabbits currently stationed in the downtown Ped Mall, suddenly disappeared in the early morning hours of Thursday, February 16th. Fortunately, she reappeared unharmed the following day. In an exclusive interview, Bertha explained to Doily reporters that she had decided to attend a casting call to become a Playboy Bunny.
“I just wanted to follow my dreams,” said Bertha.
Bertha, who was installed as part of a public art series in early February, says she first found out about the casting call through a flier that the wind had blown near her station in the Ped Mall.
“The advertisement said they were looking for the next Playboy Bunny,” she said. “I was so surprised that a magazine run by humans wanted a rabbit as their spokesperson, but to me it seemed like the perfect opportunity. I’ve always wanted to get into modeling!”
Not wanting to make a scene, Bertha bounced off from Iowa City in the middle of the night when she thought no one was around. She says she made it all the way to Playboy headquarters in Beverly Hills, California, with the help of a truck driver who attached her to the grills of his semi truck with bungee cords.
By the time she arrived at Playboy, she was immediately confused by the other Playboy Bunny hopefuls she saw.
“There wasn’t another rabbit in sight. There weren’t even any other rodents,” she said. “There were only human women, and they were all wearing tiny swimsuits. I thought they must be in the wrong place. After all, the casting call wasn’t for a Playboy Human.”
Soon, Bertha was approached by a casting manager. After all, it’s not hard to notice a giant, sentient inflatable rabbit in a crowd full of Instagram models. The manager then explained that she had misunderstood what a Playboy Bunny actually was. Bertha then had to hitchhike back to Iowa City, dejected and heartbroken.
“They said I couldn’t be a Playboy Bunny because Playboy Bunnies are actually humans, which makes no sense at all. A Playboy Bunny is supposed to be a woman in a swimsuit with a small waist but large breasts so that human men will think she’s pretty and want to have sexual relations with her. I wish they would see that bunnies can wear swimsuits and pose for the camera too. We wouldn’t even need the fake ears.”
When asked for a comment, Playboy released a statement claiming that “although our company values and celebrates body diversity, at this time we are only showcasing human women.”
When asked if she was sad to be back in Iowa City, Bertha responded that, in spite of her crushed dreams, she felt at home in the Ped Mall.
“When people walk by me, they look at me and smile. Sometimes they take pictures of me. Maybe Playboy doesn’t appreciate me, but the people in Iowa City think I’m beautiful.”