Pilate Balks: Good Friday Postponed

Maybe Some Other Time!

BREAKING: In a shocking move on both religious and political fronts, Pontius Pilate—Governor of Judaea—has declared a rain check on Good Friday.

“I just didn’t really feel like sentencing him to death,” Pilate shrugged. 

“I don’t know what that guy did to make them all so upset, but these crowds are really super annoying. Aggravating my migraine like crazy.” He put his hands in his toga. “I have to put myself first right now.”

The Roman official continued to clarify that Jesus would be crucified “some other time” in the near future and offered his condolences:

“Sorry to ruin the mood, guys.”

Christian churches everywhere seek to reschedule their Easter Sunday festivities.