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  • Doily Allergen

Random Guy Remarks He Could Easily Put on “Free Bass” Event In Literally Anyone’s Basement

im not sure what's going on here

Bittersweet goodbyes filled the upstairs bar at Blue Moose Tap House as the very last “Free Bass” EDM show wound down, that is, until a random person in the crowd remarked that he could easily “put on one of these in literally anyone’s basement.”

“Guys, this whole thing has been based around a dance floor, an astonishing amount of booze, and a pretty below average DJ set. I realize that Blue Moose has cultivated truly unique vibe with these shows over the years, yet, a few strobe lights and an unfinished cellar or storage room would probably do the trick. Sure, they have a professional sound system here and a fully stocked bar, but so does this guy I know named Greg. We’ve been dancing on this grimy linoleum tiles for years—and is that asbestos on the ceiling? Surely, any Iowa City resident randomly picked from a phone book could more safely accommodate 50-100 minors who just want to get ripped and grind on each other.”

At press time, the unidentified male was seen standing outside of Bo-James, explaining to every passerby how he could perfectly recreate the venue’s well-known “Country Night” with an empty barn and a 30 of Busch Light.


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