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  • Doily Allergen

Roommate Threatens To Start Podcast

man podcasting

Terror has overcome local freshman Logan Loganson as he has just been blindsided by a sinister warning from his roommate.

“He’s starting a podcast,” Loganson said through tears. “He’s only 24…He’s never said a single interesting thing, but he’s starting a podcast.”

Loganson says his roommate, super senior Kyle Alexander, gave no indication of tackling the audio medium until now.

“I mean sometimes we would be hanging out, and he’d offhandedly say we should record our conversations,” Loganson said. “But I never thought he’d be monstrous enough to go through with it.”

Alexander has yet to purchase any audio equipment, though he says he saw a microphone on Facebook marketplace that would be pretty cheap if Loganson also chipped in. Alexander has also yet to pick a topic to podcast about.

“I think it’s gonna be kind of a free-form conversational type thing,” Alexander alerts us. “Just two guys hanging out, shooting the shit. We’ll cover anything from fantasy football to every day college life. And we WON’T be worried about keeping things PC.”

Loganson says he lives in constant fear that Alexander will try to rope him into this nefarious scheme.

“He’s dropped hints that he thinks we have good chemistry for a podcast,” Loganson says. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a punishment. All I know is I’m scared.”

Loganson says he’s worried that if he doesn’t stop his roommate from going through with his evil plan that it’s only a matter of time before Alexander moves onto even more destructive hobbies such as improv or writing for the school’s satire newspaper.


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