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  • Doily Allergen

Student Spotlight: Nursing Major Not Afraid Of Microwaves Anymore


microwave

You may remember our previous student spotlight highlighting a brave young entrepreneur entering the high-stakes world of knife-selling (link here). Well, our old pal is back, and this time he’s come with a message.


Former business major turned startup creator turned aimless 22 year old Nathan Cremers has returned to the University of Iowa after taking an unintended gap semester. He has been accepted into Iowa’s nursing program and says he plans to pursue his newfound interest in the world of infectious disease. Not only that, he’s using his newly acquired knowledge to dispel any misgivings about a certain virus that has been on everyone’s minds lately: microwave radiation.


“You’ve probably heard countless reports of microwave related sickness,” Cremers says. “But I’m here to tell you that the numbers simply aren’t accurate.”


Cremers says the public’s fear of the kitchen appliance is misguided and caused by corruption in our medical industry.


“A lot of doctors are getting paid to do the wrong thing since it’s a political year,” Cremers said. “They are getting paid to write ‘microwave’ in death certificates so the numbers appear higher than reality. I’m not saying microwave-related illnesses aren’t an issue. It’s been blown out of proportion.”


Cremers gave a recent example of what he believes to be misreporting on the part of medical personnel.


“Take for instance that Austin kid,” Cremers said, referring to the recent death of Austin Adrian, 14, who died when a microwave fell on his head. “What the doctors and ‘media’ failed to mention is that before the microwave crushed his skull, he was diagnosed with a heart condition.”


Cremers says apart from being politically driven, the media and medical facilities are being paid “hush money” in order to misrepresent their findings.


“They get paid by Big Toaster Oven to ensure that fear of microwaves stays high in the public mindsets,” Cremers says. “That’s why you can only trust this one website I found. Make sure you have pop ups blocked though otherwise you’ll get a nasty virus.”


When asked about his stance on other illnesses such as COVID-19, which has so far taken around 260,000 American lives, Cremers was aghast:


“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

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