The Doily Allergen Endorses The Entire Cast of Frasier For The Democratic Nomination.
As the 2020 Democratic Party primaries heat up, it becomes the duty of all respectable news publications to select the optimal candidate for the United States Presidency. The Doily Allergen editorial staff have labored night and day to ensure we endorse someone who we are positive can point our country in the right direction during such a divisive moment, and we have made our choice: the entire cast of the 1990’s hit sitcom, Frasier.
Can you imagine? If enough people wrote in “The Entire Cast of Frasier” on their ballots, the U.S. government would have to recognize it.
Officially, federal law states that each voter can only write one name on a ballot. But say 51 percent of U.S. citizens demanded that the smash-hit Cheers spinoff’s entire leading cast be named POTUS, an exception would have to be made, for fear of an uprising.
There would be nothing more to do than allow Kelsey Grammer, Jane Leeves, David Hyde Pierce, Peri Gilpin and John Mahoney to all become the 46th President of the United States of America. Hell, if we play our cards right we could even get Frasier’s dog in there, too!
Imagine how outraged the DNC would be.
Images come to mind of Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren fuming as they watch the beloved ensemble that won 37 Emmys all placing their right hands on a single Bible to be inaugurated.
What would they even do? Can you imagine Kelsey Grammar meeting with Chinese ambassador Cui Tiankai? Does Kelsey Grammar even know about the trade war?
Together, if we work hard enough, we can ensure that the people’s choice becomes President. All it would take is about 100 million people writing “The Entire Cast of Frasier” on their ballots. If we haven’t yet convinced you how fucking hilarious a cast of Frasier administration would be, we will leave you with this: picture John Mahoney as Martin Crane, the father of Frasier, dragging his famously ugly green armchair into the Oval Office. How crazy would that be?!