Top 10 Name Ideas for Student Apartments
As a college town, Iowa City is full of student apartment buildings that are all trying to appear as cool and hip to their potential youth tenants as possible. New apartment units with exciting names like “The Nest” or “Aspire” pop up as frequently as the cockroaches that dwell menacingly in the basement of said apartments, but it seems like they are running out of creative name ideas.
But never fear, apartment seekers! We here at The Doily decided to help these sad sacks in real estate development who don’t have a creative bone in their bodies, and came up with ten name ideas for potential new student apartment complexes right here in Iowa City.
The Wolf Den: For those who want to be a total alpha and an absolute badass, they will need to fully embrace the wolf lifestyle. This dark, menacing cave will make the ideal home for any pack.
The Swamp: Why do all of the nature-themed apartments have to take after Iowa’s plains biomes? Up the humidity and decorate with some reedy plants to make residents feel like they have been whisked away from Corn Town USA.
Wilson: Many of the university’s dorms are named after important women in our history, so someone should jump on that before they can and name an apartment complex after our glorious president, Barbara Wilson.
The Bungalow: What even is a bungalow? Who knows, but it sounds cozy as hell.
Study Rooms: People already sleep in the real study rooms all the time, so perhaps we can trick them into thinking these are just more of the same. You wouldn’t even have to furnish the rooms beyond a plastic table, chairs, and a whiteboard, so it saves lots of money.
The Mountaintop: A lot of these apartment names seem to be focused on heights, so let’s remind all the students at Iowa to put Jesus first while they stay high on their own Mount Cavalrys through undergrad!
The Content House: For all the wannabe Tiktok stars and gaming streamers, provide them with an RGB lit room and plenty of drama-inciting common areas to create your very own internet reality show generator. Any content they make will help pay for rent!
Abandoned Asylum: Get into spooky season all year long and remain environmentally conscious with this upcycling project. Everyone feels like they are going crazy during college anyways, so why not take up permanent residence in a former grippy sock hotel?
Your Parents’ House: Missing home? Choose from a variety of pastel-colored rooms that haven’t been repainted in 20 years and eat someone else’s mom’s home-cooked meals for dinner every evening in this slightly hostile but at least familiar space.
Field of Dreams: If you build it, they will come.
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