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  • Doily Allergen

Trump-Pence Campaign Receives Key Endorsement From Houseflies Of America Association

mike pence

In the middle of Wednesday’s Vice Presidential Debate, the Houseflies of American Association (HOAA) made a surprise announcement proclaiming that their coveted endorsement would be going to the Trump-Pence Campaign. HOAA President Buzz Winger made his organization’s position clear after landing on Mike Pence’s hair.

“So sweaty,” Winger said at a press conference. “So delicious. Clearly the right pick for the next four years.”

Winger elaborated on his position, saying that HOAA approves of the Trump-Pence campaign’s concept of contaminating everything it touches, and that many members were attracted to Trump after confusing his skin with a rotting tangerine peel.

“When Trump wouldn’t confirm if he would accept the election results until November, I knew he was the candidate for me,” Winger said. “Everyday houseflies are big supporters of refusing to leave even if it’s what the American public actually wants.”

The housefly vote is one of the most sought after demographics in American politics, offering well over five quadrillion more votes than the human demographic.

HOAA is the latest organization to endorse Trump’s re-election bid, and is expected to bring with it the endorsements of other major groups like the Gridlock Traffic Society (GTS) and Persistent Seagull Committee (PSC).


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