UI Students To Jump Kid Who Reserved Study Room To Watch “Buzzfeed Unsolved” For 2 Hours

In the UI Main Library, a crowd of students waited outside study room 1153 to attack the kid who had reserved it to watch the true crime show “Buzzfeed Unsolved” for 2 hours.

“I was with my study group when all of a sudden one of my friends got super tense and pointed at the study room,” said junior Maddie Conway. “That’s when I saw him sitting in there, just watching TV with this dumb grin on his face. He was taunting us. You could tell he knew everyone could see him, but that he knew he’s basically untouchable until the room isn’t his anymore. Eventually, more and more people began to notice him, and as a group we agreed the only logical thing to do is to beat the son of a bitch to a pulp.”

Despite the growing urge to attack, the mob of students was forced to wait outside for a full 2 hours until the asshole’s ownership of the room expired.

“We can’t just barge in there and throw library rules out the window. It’d be anarchy,” Conway said. “He went through the proper channels to reserve the room, so as painful as it is, we have to respect that the room is his until 9:45 PM. But after that, oh boy. Let’s just say he’ll be going away for a while.”