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  • Ev Walters

Zoinks! Astrology Girl’s Logic Borders on Racism!

astrology girl

Ruh roh! Looks like beloved influencer and microcelebrity Astrology Girl™ is under fire yet again. And no, she isn’t just being burned by the boisterous heat of her Leo sun sign. This time, her potentially questionable views on the nature of the universe are being thrown under the microscope – or, telescope, more accurately.


Astrology Girl™ has been teased for her interests in the heavens for as long as the predictions have popped up in your local newspaper. The New Age Star and Crystals Girlie has been a target of ridicule and stale jokes in the distant past, and even recently in the Netflix special of a certain Rat Life (Or whatever his name is. Idk his crowd work is better).


However, most of these jokes hinge on a “woman dumb” punchline. Which is SUUUUUUPER lame and #cringe, if you’re catching my drift. I mean, come on. You’re just shooting your comedic potential in the foot over here. Maybe if you would have looked at the stars, you’d see that those downward-punching jokes died lightyears ago.


Instead, us big-brained geniuses at the Good Ol’ Doil want to examine the potential harm that these beliefs can bring about. Like, why would the combination of where and when a person is born – something beyond their perception or control – shape a person’s future more so than the things they’ve experienced and the actions that they’ve taken? And more importantly, how would that completely alter their personality?


It reduces so many people with rich, complex lives and identities into a choose-your-own-adventure route with only a select few options. Not to mention that it takes practices that existed millenia ago from cultures that many western astrology enjoyers have never even looked into and flanderizes it to sell products with your assigned constellation screen-printed on front.


This type of cultural rebranding paired with the reductionist stereotypes feels a little… bordering on racism. Let’s just say it might not be a total surprise if an iteration of Miss Astrology Girl™ took out the “BLM” in her bio to make room for “Scorpios DNI” if something went south. 


“But super hot, sexy, gorgeous writer of this article!” You say, gazing into my radiant, sparkling orbs. “It’s not really that deep! You’re just being a(n) [INSERT THE ANNOYING SIGN HERE]” And yes, it might not be. But isn’t it important to like? I don’t know. Look into the stuff you enjoy on a base level to see if it can be used in a way that harms others? And acknowledge that a lot of New Age stuff can feed into some conspiracy theory-esque thinking?Even for people who are coming from a place of genuine interest and curiosity, it’s possible to fall victim to some #NotSoSlay groups that also take up this space (like the bioessentialist “Divine Feminine” or “Divine Masculine” guys and anti-vax, essential-oil-toting “crunchy” people), especially if they come from a privileged space in society. Racism might not always be deliberate, but it can definitely still appear in seemingly unrelated spaces. It’s important to take a critical look at your interests and be cautious even if you’re just trying to have a good time.

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I mean! Uh. Shit. Gotta be cool. Um. Astrology Girl™’s logic is definitely racist. Astrology is lame and the only stars I care about are the ones in your dad’s eyes when I make out with him sloppy style. He kisses with his eyes open because he’s a Caprisun. Astrology Girl™ can get this L in Fortnite. Women. #AwesomeSauce.

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