12th Floor Freshman Literally Fucking Dies in the Catlett Elevator
This week, the DA has terrible news to report, as a tragedy has struck Iowa’s newest residence hall. In the crush of students running...
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Double Whammy! Freshman Tricked Into Joining Both Salt Co. and Iowa YAF
It’s one thing to fall victim to one of the numerous predatory student organizations on campus, but two?! Well, that’s what happened to...
Herky Likes ‘Em Hairy
Hate Week is now upon us, with freshly painted sheets decorating Iowa City. There are several true claims hanging around the city, but...
We Put One of Our Writers in a Room with Black Mold to Watch Them Become Transphobic
So, what a summer, huh? I was too busy bratting it up to watch the Olympics, but apparently it was quite a controversial event, and not...
BREAKING: Iowa City Bride Arrested for Wearing White after Labor Day
University of Iowa alum and Iowa City resident Peyton Clayton nee Mart was forced to spend her wedding night behind bars. The Monday...
Burge Gets Gentrified?
Rumors have been flying around campus this semester. Why is Burge Dining Hall now closed on Saturdays? Why didn’t Mayflower sell? Here...
All Work, No Play: Billions to Go Into Labor, Never Give Birth
Expect gentrification this Labor Day NEW YORK – The United Nations headquarters has been sent into a panic, for an American holiday has...
If I Get One More Email from Engage, I’m Going to Engage in Some Violence
The school year is now in full swing, whether we want it or not, and with that comes the desperation of every single organization on...
Professors Hate Him! English Major Narrowly Avoids EPB Classes for a Semester
The EPB, otherwise known as the English-Philosophy building, has gained a kind of infamy only rivaled by the quality of Burge Dining...
A Raising Canes has Hit the Capitol Center
#NeverForget
Doily Allergen Tired of Nature, Returns to Smog
… … … Uh… hi. I know last time we spoke I was all, “We’re going back to our natural habitats, never to be seen in Iowa City again,” but,...
Finally Going Home: The Doily Allergen Permanently Returns to Nature
Ah, the summer: it descends upon us, as always, like a vulture to the leftovers. Finals season is coming to a close, and thousands upon...
Gay, Trans Bottoms Get Bottom Surgery at Summit
Summit is Iowa City’s favorite heterosexual safe space. It’s the one place a homophobe can go and not have to worry about encountering...
I Tried the New Feastables Bar So My Poor Roommate Wouldn’t Have To
Here at The Doily, we love our roommates (the cool ones), and one very cool international roommate of ours made the harrowing decision to...
UI Student Health Advises Birth Control Before Getting Fucked by an Exam
It’s that time of year again: when everyone suddenly realizes that the end of the semester is approaching. They need to study fast or...
“Get back in there!”: Man Purposely Fails Rectal Exam for Hot Doctor at UI Quickcare
Two weeks ago, University of Iowa freshman Ian Hawke paid a visit to the UIowa Quickcare for his routine rectal exam (which he insisted...
Freshman English Major Forced to Take Exclusively Accounting Classes Due to Availability
For any upperclassmen or disabled people reading this, class registration will likely feel like it was completed ages ago. Within the...
Top 10 Most Fuckable Herkys
As 100 decently fuckable Herky statues went up throughout Iowa City today, only 10 hunky herks made the cut for the MOST fuckable. Below...
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