Less Important

13 Reasons Why You Should Lock In

It’s that magical time of year when even the smallest things going wrong can have you telling all your friends (or at least Yik Yak),...

Idiot Tree Still Thinks It’s Summer

BREAKING: This idiot tree apparently still thinks it’s summer. Look at all that green! Don’t you have some leaves to lose? Spoiler alert:...

Top Ten Topics to Bring Up to Your Family This Thanksgiving

It’s finally time, Hawks! The fall semester has lasted three long years of burnout, cramming, and tears, but it’s nearly time to go home...

Daily Iowan Causing Eduroam Outages To Suppress Free Speech

Eduroam has been noticeably finicky lately. We here at the Doily Allergen suspect that our foes at the Daily Iowan are behind this,...

Cade McNamara Spotted Casting Dark Incantations on Sullivan to Earn Back Starting Position

New reports have uncovered that Iowa QB Brendan Sullivan’s ankle sprain during last week’s game against UCLA may have been caused by the...

Student Spotlight: The Kid Who Jingles When They Walk

We’ve all heard that one guy walking down the hallway, rattling with every step like they have a set of wind chimes in their backpack....

Street Hawk Debuts ‘Disgusting Burger Surprise’

A Meal that Leaves You Sweating, Shaking, and Satisfied In a shocking turn of events, the University of Iowa’s Street Hawk Food Truck has...

Professor Realizes Online Lecture Attendees Have Been Replaced by AI

Dead Zoom Theory is now Dead Zoom Fact A gen-ed psychology professor has finally come to the terrifying realization we’ve known all...

‘I’m just a girl,’ Says Student After Brutally Murdering A Man

Local college student Paige Blödmann pleads not guilty in trial court today after arrest last night. Blödmann, a second-year...

Iowa Ave. Pedestrian Tunnel Construction Actually Evil Bridge Troll Takeover

Astute residents of the Iowa City area may have noticed the repairs on the pedestrian tunnel underneath Iowa Avenue have been taking...

Mini Bibles Handed Out on the Pentacrest Revealed to be Drug Deals in Disguise

We’ve all been there, trudging across the Pentacrest on Monday morning, going to that dreaded 8 a.m. class for the second time the entire...

'What, guys can’t be guys no more?' Apparently Insufficient Legal Defense For A DUI Case

Has feminism gone too far? Pictured: Brentley Albright studying late at the Boyd Law Library University of Iowa law student Brentley...

JD Vance Headlines Studio 13 Drag Show

Vance Lip-Syncs... for... his... LIFE! Vice presidential candidate, JD Vance, everyone’s favorite eyeliner queen, seems to be growing...

Market Place Employees Required to Sing for Students’ Birthdays

Job Fair Hopefuls Be Wary A clause buried deep in University Housing and Dining employment contracts has recently been uncovered,...

Iowa Hawk Shop Replaces Every Textbook With “It Ends With Us”

The University of Iowa Hawk Shop, the official bookstore for students to find their textbooks at their most inflated prices, made a...

12th Floor Freshman Literally Fucking Dies in the Catlett Elevator

This week, the DA has terrible news to report, as a tragedy has struck Iowa’s newest residence hall. In the crush of students running...

Double Whammy! Freshman Tricked Into Joining Both Salt Co. and Iowa YAF

It’s one thing to fall victim to one of the numerous predatory student organizations on campus, but two?! Well, that’s what happened to...

Herky Likes ‘Em Hairy

Hate Week is now upon us, with freshly painted sheets decorating Iowa City. There are several true claims hanging around the city, but...

We Put One of Our Writers in a Room with Black Mold to Watch Them Become Transphobic

So, what a summer, huh? I was too busy bratting it up to watch the Olympics, but apparently it was quite a controversial event, and not...

BREAKING: Iowa City Bride Arrested for Wearing White after Labor Day

University of Iowa alum and Iowa City resident Peyton Clayton nee Mart was forced to spend her wedding night behind bars. The Monday...