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Dear Doily

Dear Doily: Human Deworming Medication?!
Early Bird Gets Dewormed Dear Doily, I read some terrifying twitter thread about human deworming medication, and that a large part of...


Dear Doily: How are you?
Dear Doily, Everyone asks you for the hot gossip on campus, but no one asks how the hottest gossiper on campus is. With fall break coming...

Dear Doily: How Is It January Already?
Dear Doily, I think we can all agree that this semester has gone by uncannily fast. It feels like just last week we were throwing out our...

Dear Doily: Have you seen my ladybugs?
Dear Doily, Have you seen my ladybugs? I’ve tried just about everything I can think of to get the word out but nothing has helped! A few...

Dear Doily: That Hentai Article Ruined My Relationship
Dear Doily, I’m not sure if you remember this, but a few weeks ago (or years, let’s be real: This semester has gone on long enough), you...


Dear Doily: Beware My Cursed Amulet
Dear Doily, MUAHAHAHAHA! Hear ye, hear ye, all who shall listen to my tale! From the depths of the Iowa River, a new magical talisman...


Dear Doily: My Dick Uses She/Her Pronouns
Dear Doily, I am a proud haver of erectile dysfunction. Yeah. I’m not ashamed. I tell people all the time. The first thing they always...

Dear Doily: Should I Fuck That Old Man?
Dear Doily, Okay, soooo…. I have this problem, and I figured y’all could help me??? I read your stuff a lot, and from what I can tell...

Dear Doily: As An Ohioan, I Can Confirm We All Eat Dogs, Actually
Dear Doily, Last night’s debate (and the entire election season, really) has given us Ohioans a lot of exposure. It’s a little weird to...


Dear Doily: I Just Took a Swim in the Iowa River and Now I Glow
Dear Doily, The weather is getting warmer every day, and the stress of finals on top of that is starting to make me sweat a bit. So last...

Dear Doily: What’s the Deal with Gum Control?
Dear Doily, What’s the deal with gum control? It’s one of those hot-button issues that’s consumed our news cycles for years at this...

Dear Doily: I Wrote You But You Still Ain’t Calling
Dear Doily, I wrote you but you still ain't calling. I left my Instagram, my email, and my birth certificate as an attachment. I sent two...

Dear Doily: You’ve Gone Woke
Dear Doily, I’ve recently noticed that as of late, it seems like some of your articles have been leaning a bit woke. Don’t get me wrong,...

Dear Doily: How Do You Beat Night 4 Without Freddy Killing You?
Dear Doily, I have been stuck on Night 4 of FNAF 1 for weeks now. I can’t figure it out. I always die to Freddy. I’ve got Bonnie, Chica,...

Dear Doily: The Moon Is Oysters
I thought the world was supposed to be my oyster. But dear God, was I wrong. Dear Doily, I humbly submit the following complaint in the...


Dear Doily: Help! I’m Full of Pus!
Dear Doily, ‘Twas a kindly summer night, Warm even past the low’ring of the sun Beyond that fateful line To which we ascribe the name...

Dear Doily: My Alumni Parents Regressed Too Hard During Family Weekend
Dear Doily, I’ve been a fan of your publication for quite a while now, but I’ve never had a reason to write in until this weekend. You...

Dear Doily: Am I The Asshole for Invading Ukraine After I Said I Wouldn’t?
Dear Doily, I (69M) am the current president of a large European superpower that was once the largest state in the Soviet Union. Anyways,...

Dear Doily: We Have Your Son
Dear Doily, We have your son. We demand $250,000 in unmarked bills by the end of the day tomorrow. If you choose not to pay, we will… uh…...


Dear Doily: What Classes Should I Take?
Dear Doily, I’m scheduled to register for my fall courses soon, but I have no idea what courses to take! I’m an open major in my second...
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