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  • Doily Allergen

Girl At Party Discovers Guy From Tinder Actually Fish

man with fish

For those who don’t know, Tinder is a dating app frequently used by young adults. It is an application based on liking (swiping right) or disliking (swiping left) users to determine who matches, and then can message and arrange a date. Men feel obligated to post photos with the most impressive fish they’ve ever caught, in order to attract women. Most believe it is the man in the photo who owns the profile, not the fish. Though, everything isn’t always as it seems.

Margaret Sinclaire matched with someone who she thought was an expert fish catcher and man oozing with testosterone, though he turned out to be a catfish. Literally.

About a week ago, Sinclaire decided to attend a frat party at the Pike fraternity that she was invited to by Cod Haddock, one of her Tinder matches, whom she had been talking to for about a week. They had great conversations with him about the Mississippi river, what seaweed is the best to eat, and fish rights. She thought he was a good guy interested in the environment, and was very excited to see how the night went.

“When I arrived at the house, I messaged him to see where he was at. Cod was in the upstairs bathroom, and I was able to get there quickly since no one else had arrived yet. When I arrived, I was so happy,“ Sinclaire said. “He was more attractive in person than in pictures. Cod was around six feet tall, with an athletic build and a beautiful face. The only weird thing about him was the fish bowl he had in hands. In it, there was a dark green fish that was swimming happily in circles.”

Sinclaire said that she greeted the man holding the bowl as Haddock. He stared at her, a confused look on his face, mouth open.

The man looked at Sinclaire, and informed her that the fish was Haddock, not him. She describes Haddock’s eyes large and full of love as he stared at her through the glass. He was still swimming in circles, obviously elated to see her. She says Haddock started kissing his bowl, trying to show her affection from a distance.

Sinclaire could tell Haddock was excited and in love, though she was shocked and speechless. She had no idea how this was possible.

“I just remembered thinking, how could a fish even use Tinder? Who was this man holding him? Are there more fish on Tinder that I had matched with?” Sinclaire told the Allergen.

Sinclaire turned around and ran from the bathroom, where she ran into someone outside the door, and an object fell from the person’s hands to the floor; it was a fish bowl.

“I had no idea what the fuck was happening. I raced down the stairs, and I saw more men with fish; about twenty. There were other girls there, mingling with them,” Said Sinclaire. “At least five were men I had previously matched with on Tinder, and they were all holding the fish they had in their profiles. I almost shit my pants.”

Sinclaire was at a party full of Tinder fish. All of these men were in tote with their own little aquatic friends who were trying to score some non-aquatic tail. This forever changed the way Sinclaire viewed Tinder.

“I soon deleted the app,” she said. “When I was active there, at least half of the people had fish in their profiles. It was too overwhelming. I didn’t want to have to monitor people’s profiles so closely to ensure I didn’t match with a fish. I’m just not into fish I guess. Weird to think some girls are but everyone has their own preferences.”

Sinclaire has since decided to change dating apps from Tinder to Bumble in the hopes of avoiding these fish users. Unfortunately, she has only encountered more.


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