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  • Ashley Cimarolli

Student Spotlight: I am Elvis Reincarnated


i am elvis and he is me

Suppose you’re looking for trouble. You came to the right place. Long story short, I’m evil, and don’t mess around with me. I know y’all know me as a simple-minded writer for this here platform, but I’ve been keeping a monster secret from everyone. I’m sure some of you know already. Anyone who is anyone knows that Hanny Montana is my favorite show. I guess my compelling need to thrust my hips out and my knees inward have brought forth my identity once and for all.


That’s right you lads and ladies, Elvis is back baby, and it’s me, thank you, thank you very much.


Was I born this way? Who knows. All I know is it began when I was in therapy and I was asked to retain my first-ever memory. For a moment, I thought of when I was a young thing and wet myself in front of my entire first-grade class. Then I was told to look even further, but I really couldn’t. It was kind of awkward actually, I just sat there acting like I was thinkin’ back. Suddenly it hit me – I was slapping on some blue suede shoes and hopping up with the confidence of a million men. It wasn’t until my therapist stopped me and asked if I was having a seizure because my legs just wouldn’t quit! I felt an overwhelming sense of the King himself wafting through me. It was like I was dancing to some sort of… unchained melody. Once I awoke from my trance, my therapist looked at me in shock for a moment, before humbly bowing down before me.


That night, I scoured and scanned my mind for any similar moments. Turns out I have millions of memories just like the one I felt at therapy. I developed a suspicious mind about the whole thing. I thought… what if I am truly Elvis? I mean, if I could dream it, I could do it! At least, those words were spoken to me in a distant memory.


I did some research about the man himself. Apparently, he was born standing up and talking back. While contemplating this notion, I came to realize that I myself had been born standing up! I also talk back to my superiors! The similarities between us were uncanny.


The real kicker was when I found out how he died. Would you believe me if I said it was on the toilet? I also struggle on the toilet! I wonder if that’s how I’ll go as well.


I began thinking, ok so I am Elvis, what now? That’s when I applied to be a writer here. I began writing some little stories. Just putting something on the page. All building up to this moment, for me to expel my truth to the world. I am Elvis. And I’m not ashamed. In the end, I’d just like to be treated like every other person, even though I am the King of Pop. It’s kind of impressive when you think about it, though. I mean, for Elvis to be alive again? That’s some kind of miracle. I guess I do deserve some special treatment. Viva Las Vegas! Next stop, the International Hotel!

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