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The Doily Allergen’s Advice For Incoming Freshmen

kickoff at kinick

As we Hawkeyes once again begin the hellish ascent toward finals, The Doily Allergen has thoughtfully compiled some helpful tips and advice for incoming freshmen! Take this advice with you all the way till you walk across the stage in 2025 (or whenever you get around to it).

  • Engage with the community by talking to people with signs on T. Anne Cleary Walkway! They have many unique perspectives, including how many reasons there are for you to burn in Hell.

  • The food in Catlett is definitely worth the extra twenty minutes of waiting. Go ahead and ditch any of your friends who claim that Burge uses the exact same ingredients.

  • Raise your hand often in large lectures. Compete for that spotlight!

  • Keep your lanyard around your neck. It’s the hip, college kid look!

  • Don’t cut your On Iowa! (Go Hawks!) t-shirt into a crop top. You’ll regret cutting up treasured memories. Also, bartenders will hand out free drinks to anyone wearing that excessively bright gold.

  • Going out to a house party? Be sure to invite your RA! It’s a great way to start building a relationship, consequence-free.

  • Remember, there is no choice worse than switching your major. You picked it, now stick with it.

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