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Doily Allergen

Top 10 Types Of Men To Avoid In Iowa City


men unnecessarily happy

These are the types of men to avoid in Iowa City.

  1. Settlers of catan players

  2. Guys named John

  3. Gemini Suns

  4. Gemini Moons

  5. Gemini Risings

  6. Guys who look like they’re familiar with the Smiths

  7. Morrissey

  8. Men who have hair (such a red flag)

  9. Men without hair (even bigger red flag)

  10. Men with kind eyes

  11. Men with hazel eyes

  12. Men who look at you

  13. Presbyterians (why is it spelled like that, kinda sketch)

  14. Men who work

  15. Unemployed Losers

  16. Loving fathers

  17. Fathers who look at their life and realize they’ve made a huge mistake

  18. ”I’m not Jewish, but” men (aka Hitler types)

  19. Men who do standup

  20. Men who do improv

  21. Guys with friends

  22. Men who call you sweetheart and take multivitamins (singular vitamins are fine)

  23. Men who like big cats

  24. Men who “don’t wanna get into all that”

  25. Professors who “don’t date students”

  26. Space bros

  27. Men who introduced a communist regime to the Soviet Union

  28. Those guys

  29. Men who were the 27th President of the United States of America

  30. World of Warcraft players

  31. Men who studied for the ACT

  32. Men who are familiar with the concept of podcasts (slippery slope)

  33. Men who are passionate about and regularly exercise their Fifth Amendment rights

  34. Men who received their driver’s license in the past 17 months

  35. Men who live, laugh, love (exclusively in this order)

  36. Midwesteners

  37. Those who dare to dream

  38. Men who find comfort in the small things

  39. The colorblind

  40. Ferret people

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