Lily Meline

The Case for Capitalism? I Thought You Said the Case for Fatboy Slim!

Aw jeez, man, this is so embarrassing! See, when my boss was yelling at me over the phone about the subject of my next journalistic...

SSSniperWolf Posts Apology for Actions on Burge Dining Screen

SSSniperWolf, a YouTuber known for her highly insightful and heartfelt commentaries of popular TikToks, has fallen into some hot water...

Gay Person Shocked When Straight Person Recognizes Their Costume as Meryl Streep in Kramer vs Kramer

Halloweekend has recently passed, but if you’re a Halloween purist, then you know that the real fun goes down on the actual big day,...

Hawkeye Marching Band Pays Tribute to The Living Tombstone

Mister Rogers, Bob Ross, Bella Thorne, and The Living Tombstone. What do all of these historical figures have in common? The answer is...

Iowa YAF Transitions into Iowa YASSS, Queen

Iowa’s Young Artichoke Fuckers––or as they’re colloquially known, Iowa YAF––have come under fire recently for actions that students...

“Werner Herzog Resigns as Film Director After Watching My BTS Fan-Cam”

Werner Herzog, the highly-acclaimed director of the best documentaries of the modern age and a mediocre Nosferatu remake, is coming to...

Student Gets Hit by Iowa City Transit Bus, Only Gets 35% of Tuition Paid

I’m sure the vast majority of University of Iowa students have heard the old myth about how if you’re hit and/or run over by the Cambus,...

Paranormal Investigator Surprised to Learn English-Philosophy Building Isn’t Haunted

Everything always seems more haunted in autumn, doesn’t it? With Halloween on the horizon, a chill in the breeze, and an early nighttime...

Freshman Loses Girlfriend to the Poster Guy

Many freshmen, upon entering their first semester of classes, often find themselves with a variety of issues that they hadn’t taken into...

Donald Trump Found to be Colluding with Herky

Trump Posts Bail while Herky Posts Tail (hubba hubba!)

Cakes at Catlett Dining Hall Reportedly Only Wet Because They’re Preparing You For My Pussy

[Mom & Dad, I know you both insist on reading all of my articles, but please don’t read this one. Feel free to peruse the rest of the...

UI Students Pregame at Unimpaired

[Disclaimer: This particular journalist had one too many Shirley Temples before writing this piece. If this article is bad, even by usual...

John Pappajohn Building Set to be Replaced with the Bell TacoBell Building

Here at the University of Iowa, business majors really only have two things going for them: basic knowledge of how to format an Excel...

Nintendo Announces “Herkychu” Pokemon; University to Sue

As some of you gamers, weebs, and furries might be aware, today is Pokemon Day! Originally established by fans as a way to celebrate the...

UI Appeals to Midwestern Ideals by Offering E-corn-omics Major

In many aspects, the University of Iowa can be considered a very prestigious university. Its creative writing program has been ranked #2...

A Look Into the Hottest Books at the Book Festival That You Didn’t Have the Time or Money to Read

Ah, the Iowa City Book Festival. For those not in the know, the festival is an annual gathering of authors in this cultured city of ours...

Turf War Arises Between Pride Alliance Center and ROTC

When traveling down Grand Avenue, you might come across the Pride Alliance Center and the South Quadrangle – two households, both alike...